Shawns POV:
"I-its like," I sigh, frantically running my hand through my hair, "losing everything and having no control over it." I breathe out shutting my eyes, letting a tear slip from my eyes.
I'm parked on the side of the road, from just leaving y/n's house. We got in a violent fight ending with us screaming and me being kicked out.
"Shawn," she whimpers through the phone, sounding weak and hopeless, "I just can't get hurt again."
I whimper at her words, I never meant to hurt her. I'd never.
"So these past 2 years?" I shake, worried of what she might say, "meant nothing? I'm not parked on the side of the road on your street because I'm giving up. I'm hoping I can just take my suitcase and have you in my arms again."
I hear her heavy full of pain breathing and I wipe my eyes trying to keep myself together.
"Those 2 years meant everything," she cries out, it comes out muffled, probably covering her mouth.
"So please," my voice comes out as a strangled whisper, "please."
"B-but you never have time for me, I-i just need someone here for me. Not gone all the time." I hear her sniffle, and something break. She mumbles, "shit." And I hear glass being kicked around.
"I'll make time," i plead, repeating my words from our fight earlier, "m-my tour, it means nothing I know I can take a break. Nothing is more important I swear to god." I let my tears fall freely not caring how weak I sound and look, a sob comes from my lips.
"You're expecting me to just ask you to put what means most to you aside? For me? I know you think I'm crazy shawn," she pauses sighing, "but I'm not that crazy."
I slam my hand against the steering wheel, "you are what means most to me," i press my hand on my forehead whimpering and gripping at my hair out of anger.
"Sorry shawn, I just can't," i hear her crying. I know she doesn't want to do this.
"N-no baby wait, please," i frantically try getting her to change her mind.
"Bye, good luck," she whispers before I hear the line go dead.
"Y/N WAIT!" I yell, but it's already too late, it's just me yelling to a dead end.
I throw my phone in the back of my car and convulse forwards from pain and sobs breaking free from me holding them back. I clutch my stomach as if I'm keeping myself together, trying to control my breathing.
Everyime, I think to myself, I'm always the one who ends up hurt, and I'm sick of it.
________________________________________~my beautiful pancakes I will be updating my book tomorrow so stay tuunneedd
~Leah
