Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 50: I thought I was Pathetic?

(Third Person's P.O.V.)

Stark opened his eyes slowly, he felt sore and could barely make something out.

It wasn't dark, but not exactly bright either. Probably it was early in the moring...? 

But Tony being his flirty, unsatisfiable and sarcastic self, he had to let a stupid remark slip.

"Hey, sexy lady..."  He purred as he realised this beautiful, black-haired woman lying right next to him. 

She was so stunning! Flawless skin, shoulder-long hair and thin, rose lips. She had to be the Goddess of beauty, Anthony thought.

Blood was trickling from her chin and by having a better look at her, Stark noticed that her clothes were burnt... so burnt, they weren't existing anymore. Nuff said.

"Anthony... Touch me and I will freeze your pathetic hands to a tree."  The 'lady' suddenly said and forced her eyes open. 

"Who are ya talkin' to, chick? It's just me and you, you know..." He replied and attempted to stroke 'her' face again. 

"STARK! I WARNED YOU!"  'She' exclaimed grabbing his hands and freezing them to a palm tree. 

"Who is this Stark Anthony you are talking about?" 

"Don't you mock me, Anthony! 'Tis not the right time!"

"Why? Is that my name? Am I Anthony? And who are you, beautiful?" 

"LOKI! STARK!"  Nerdie's nerving voice interrupted their argument as she stepped through a bush, her clothes likewise burnt and her head bleeding. 

"Oh, so your name is Loki... Belissima!"  

"Shut your mouth!"

"Who are you talking to? Stark, would you please stop being your idiotic self?"

"Oh, another chick! Chicas... They just ain't getting enough of me!"

"WHAT?! YOU THINK I AM - "

"Of course, darling! And you're such an... AMAZING SIGHT!" 

"Ok-ay... I am still hallucinating or is that part really over?"  Nerdie asked, more rhetorically than directed at anyone.

"Well, if this is a hallucination then you must be hallucinating handsome, hot people." 

"Zip it, Tony."

"But my name is Anthony - "

"SHE SAID ZIP IT, STARK!" 

"Okay, wait, wait, wait! Who am I now? Anthony, Tony or Stark?"

"You're pathetic."  Loki answered facepalming.

"Well, call me Pathetic then, now." 

"Gosh, this is just stupid!" Nerdie groaned.

"I thought I was pathetic?" 

"Loki, punch him, please."

Upon hearing this, the (half naked) God of Mischief punched Tony in the face and spat at the ground. The realisation sank in.

"Do you think he... he might have lost his memories?"  Loki asked Nerdie, who just shook her head in distress.

That's what they were, dumbasses in distress.

"Probably. It's been a bumpy ride, after all." 

"And what do we do now? ODIN! MY HAIR IS ALREADY GETTING TOO DRY FROM THE BLAZING SUN!" 

"I THINK WE HAVE THINGS OF MORE IMPORTANCE TO THINK OF NOW, LITTLE PRINCESS!" 

"I knew it! You are a woman!"  Stark commented.

"Loki, would you, please?"

And the Frost Giant who was getting fried under the sun punched him again. 

"You know, my memory won't get any better from this!"  He whined, still trying to get his hands off the tree. 

"But at least you are silenced."  Loki hissed back. 

.....

"This is embarrassing!" 

"Why, I think you're hawt!"

"Dude, you are literally forcing us to hurt you!"

"But I just said - " 

"You said nothing."  Loki cut him off by punching the tree itself this time, sending a dozen of coconuts down to Tony's head.

"Loki, we have no other choice but to wear those."

"But, but - Why a dress?! Why does it always have to be a dress!?" 

"That's fate, bro. Get over it." 

"TONY!"   They both yelled at the man who was barely conscious and bleeding out of his nose from all the blows he was getting.

"It itches, my, uhm... I think you mortals call it... 'ass'? It itches! There must be insects in this hula skirt!" 

"Don't be a baby, Loki! It's still me who has to wear the coconut bra."

"Wait, then why do I wear them?" Loki replied with a confused expression, pointing at his own 'bra'.

"Because it's funneh! TROLOLOLOL!!!" 

"I KNEW YOU WERE A WOMAN ALL THE TIME! NOW GIVE ME A KISS!" 

"Stark, you are a dead man." 

"Whatever you say, ovary destroyer!"

"I will freeze your pathetic heart!"

"You've already fried me to a crips, darling! You're so hawt!"

"Loki, just stop. This isn't getting better."

A/N: Surprise, surprise! The first official chapter of the second season even faster than promised! 

Whatya think? FEEEEEEDBAAAAACK :D

Pwease vote and comment, 

Woman_Of_Mischief