Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 68: A Toad, Madame.

(Third Person's P.O.V.)

The glass cell was there. The panel with the big red button was there. The cameras were there.

But not his guard. Not the once sixteen year old who guarded him through day and night, who annoyed him until he turned blue, who encouraged his obsessions ever so often.

Not her. 

"Nerdellia..."  Loki whispered to himself while lying on the hard ground and staring into the void. "Come home, Nerdellia. From the realm of the dead back to me." 

A tear stole its way out of the corner of his eye. 

He cursed her, he screamed. He missed her more than he ever thought that he might. 

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"Would you please abstain from doing this?" 

"It's so cold, your skin is so col - "

"Yes, I have understood that. For the seventeenth time."  

The King of the Dead (and Fabulousness) grasped her wrist to prevent her from poking his cheek with her index finger anymore. It was unnerving, really. 

"But it's so cool, like, don't you freeze to death with that temperature?" 

"No, Nerdellia."  He groaned facepalming. "I am not alive to be capable of dying." 

"Awesome. Seriously. Who's that chick?" She pointed to a beautiful woman in white sitting next to Death's throne. 

"Empress Elisabeth of Austria. My wife. Would you please stop staring at her? She hates that, it drives her crazy." [Kudos to the people who get that reference]

"You gotta wifey? Sweet!" 

"*groans*" 

"And who are those guys?" 

"Other dead people."  He answered with a monotonous and bored voice. 

"Hey, guys! I just wanted to let you know, well - "  Nerdie hesitated.  "DA PARTY DON'T START TILL I WALK IN!" 

"They don't hear you, dumbass." 

"You gotta muscular back, dude."  She suddenly commented, ignoring his recent remark.

"What?" 

"A muscular back. Like, a trapezium. Broad shoulders, slim waist. Well done. How often do you lift?" 

And she went on with poking his back and bicepses [is that even a word?]. That little stalker.

"By Odin's beard, why do you keep touching me!?" 

"That's the same thing Loki asked me when we first met. You're really alike. And that's just me, I'm that touchy and stuff." 

"Good gracious Lord."  And the groaning and facepalming didn't stop. 

"You're cold, you're buff, you're fabulous... You're EDWARD CULLEN!"

"Did you just insult me, little lying Delilah!?" 

"OH MY GOSH! PHANTOM! It's you! The Phaaaantom of the opera is there - " 

"NO."  Death literally thrust his fist into her mouth to shut her face. "NO SINGING ALLOWED! YOU'RE DEAD!" 

"But I'm feeling very well." 

"No, you're DEAD! You are supposed to be lying submissively and pathetically around like the rest of these damned souls! And instead - you are annoying me! Taking you away is doing nothing for my nerves."