Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 10: Mischievous Beach Party (Part 1)

Okay, so here we are standing on the beach in the middle of a place that seemed to be uninhabitated. Fury, who was at least NOT wearing his trench coat but all the rest of his strange uniform, said we could only choose a beach where we would be alone. One reason was that he wanted to park the hellicarrier next to us and the other that nobody should see earth's mightiest heros play in the water with Loki, the mass murderer of New York.

I was wearing a black swim suit, because I really liked black. Natasha wore a red bikini with very little fabric and Clint red bathers that were of course just ACCIDENTALLY matching hers.....
Banner wore a T-Shirt and khaki shorts, although we told him he should really swim too, but he simply said 'The Other Guy doesn't like water'. After that nobody asked him again.
Steve of course chose blue bathers with the American flag and Tony designed his own Iron-Man-bathers, having the words 'born to style you' written over his bottom.
Thor? Well... He had agreed to wear red bathers, but Tony and I had written 'Point Break' over his bottom and laughed every time he turned around. I wanted to write 'here comes the hammer' but Tony always got his way.

And now to MY guest, my dearest God of Mischief Loki. After he had promised to wear bathers if I didn't tell Natasha what he said (or hasn't said), he had no choice but to wear the pink bathers left. You could imagine the stares he was getting and the mockery, especially after my little addition.

"Hey, 'Sorry, no dignity'  really looks hot on you, Loki!"  Natasha teased and ran into the water, followed by Clint and Steve.

Banner rigged up his equipment and began watching the blue sky. What was he looking for? A magical portal with a lethal army coming out? Those times really were over. [Not.]
Fury sat down on a chair and relaxed while Thor was looking irritatedly at the ground in an attempt to find out why the ground was so soft under his feet. Loki facepalmed and I laughed, patting his shoulder and explaining:

"Thor, my dear bro, this is sand. It's very soft and Midgardians usually build big castles with it. Till now, nobody managed to finish a whole castle, and I am sure you can't either."  I challenged and I heard Loki's chuckle behind me.

"I can do it!"  He roared directly into my ears and I handed him a little spade and a bucket,  trying everything not to burst out laughing. "Then take this. These are the mightiest tools we mortals have to build castles. Use them and then build one, you have time till sunset."

"Agreed!"  He yelled and immediately began to dig. He looked so cute with the little pink spade in his huge hands and how the sand would always slump down. Then Thor would roar a battle cry and try again. "Who dares annoy the mighty Thor! You will obey me, sand!"  He yelled at the ground.

"This is so hilarious. I admire your work."  Loki said and was suddenly standing right next to me. "Well, I learned from the best trickster in the univers."  I replied and pulled him behind me into the water.

"The bathers fit you perfectly."  I complimented him. The water was reaching to my neck and to his chest now. Damn it, why was he so tall and I wasn't?

"Do not mock me, mortal. You might regret it."

"Make me." I challenged. Bad idea. He grabbed me and pulled my head under the water for a few seconds, then he let me respire but kept his hands around my head. "What did you say?" 

"NATASHA! LOKI SAYS YOU'RE FAT......"  I yelled and caught the attention of Natasha before Loki pulled me underwater again. But this time, he surprisingly let go off me fast and I immediately stuck my head out of the water, seeing Natasha was about to drown Loki right next to me.

"YOU DARE CALL ME FAT YOU PUNY GOD!?!!? DO YOU HAVE A CLUE ABOUT HOW MUCH I TRAIN FOR THIS BODY?!?!"  She yelled and I laughed at what I had done. Oh yeah, I was totally cheeky.

"H-hel-p-p....."  Loki mouthed between gasping for air and trying to get Natasha off of him.

I looked around me for something to help him with, but there was nothing but water around me. "Um.... Natasha? Clint is flirting with a blond chick behind the Hellicarrier!"  She immediately spun around and ran through the water, obviously annoyed by how slow she was. "I WILL MURDER YOU!"  

Loki was still gasping and eyeing me like he was going to rip the guts out of my stomach.
"Betcha can't swim faster than me!"  I screamed and swam back to the beach, where I hoped I would be safe. I mean I had a depressed, psychotic, evil demigod on my tail who was probably going to kill me.

"THOR! HELP MEH!"  I yelled and hid behind him.

"Can.... not.... help.... friend... must... build... sand... castle..."  He panted, sitting in a huge hole he must have digged for half an hour.

Loki was getting slowly, menacingly and with clenched fists out of the water, and I had to admit he looked extremely attractive while doing that. I mean the water was dripping from his hair, his six-pack.... Okay, no daydreaming Nerdie. He'll kill you. Smelling the scent of hot dogs I noticed Steve was eating one. I instantly dashed forward and ripped it our of his hand to distract Loki. Running right towards him, I stuffed it in his mouth which he had opened to yell at me and hid behing a very upset Captain America.

"Loki had put me up to this!"  I said and hugged him from behind to make sure he would stay between me and the black-haired psycho. Steve didn't like his hot dog taken at all, but Loki didn't fear to plant himself right in front of him and cross his arms. Loki was a little bit taller than Steve and I was getting bored by the unarmed, silent war they were having.

"Come on, fight!"  I said and pushed Steve towards Loki. They bumped into each other and the battle immediately began. Rolling on the ground, they hit and kicked each other for so long that I got bored again. Taking Steve's shield I went into the water again, shouting:

"Hey, Stevie! I'm borrowing your shield to surf. Hope you don't mind!"   

Clint took a surf board and began to surf next to me, though he fell more often than I did because the cat fight on the beach was distracting him. Since Steve had no shield and Loki no staff, they were killing each other with their bare hands and nobody seemed to have the upper hand. A typical man fight.

We kept surfing, swimming, flirting, fighting and having fun till 8 p.m. and the sunset was just beautiful. We all sat in groups next to each other: Tony and Bruce as 'the Science Bros' together, Clint and Natasha as 'the master-assassins in love' , Steve and Thor as 'the weird and crazy people from another time/planet' and Fury alone as 'the Boss'. 

Who's left?  Well, Loki and I sat next to each other as 'the people who don't belong to any group'. Loki could have sat with Steve and Thor but he said 'I would rather not provoke another fight'.  So here we were, looking at the dawn.

"Hey Loki, why don't you make a fire?"  I said and everyone looked up and gave me strange stares.

"What? I'm cold and hungry!"  I exclaimed and Clintasha returned to their oaths of love, Stanner to their sciene, Sthor to their conversation about foreign universes and Fury to his book "how to torture a captive".

Loki stood up and clapped his hands, causing the sand to burn. Wait, sand and burn?

"How can you burn sand? And why?"  I asked. He gave me an unnerved stare and shrugged. "In fact, I was going to burn some branches but somehow it did not work." 

"EHEHEHE PERFORMANCE ISSUES!"  Tony shouted and we all began to laugh. But this night wasn't over yet.

"Now, let's play 'spin the bottle'!"  Tony continued and brought an empty bottle and a flat underlay. We all sat around it in a circle.

But how are we supposed to play 'spin the bottle' with seven males and two females?

A/N:  This was part 1 of Mischievous Beach Party!  How did you like it? FEEDBACK! :D

Vote and comment, my mortals.

Woman_Of_Mischief