Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 14: The Power of Hiddlestoners

".... freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that in your heart, you will know peace....."

"Dude, you were so lame. 'life's great lie'? Seriously?"

"Humans are animals. They need subjugation, they crave it."  He whispered with an annoyed tone of voice.

.........

"YOU KILLED COULSON! HOW COULD YOU YOU MEWLING - "

"Sshh! We're in a public place, you idiot! And he's alive so I didn't kill him."

"But you tried!! I will never forget what you - Hey, can I have some popcorn?"

"*facepalm* take it all. It's disgusting."

...........

"You mewling q**** !"

" What's a q****, Loki?"

"You don't want to know, believe me."   Loki replied blushing and covering his face in shame.

"U, okay... Weren't you afraid Natasha could do something to you after you called her like you did? I mean, this woman is a master assassin."

"Shut up, you two love birdies!" An older man behind us said.

Loki glared at him and immediately tried to break his bones. Fortunately I used my bracelet and tasered him before he could kill this man who looked exactly like the guy who stood against Loki in Stuttgart... How odd.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Loki hissed and sat upright, re-concentrating on the movie.

"Sorry, what did ya say?"  I threatened and tasered him again until his neck was fuming.

"I.... might consider liking you...."  He panted and I smiled.

"Good boy."

...........

"That usually works....."

"HAHAHAA!"  I couldn't control myself, Loki's life was just too funny.

"What are you laughing about?"  Loki hissed and I laughed even harder.

"It's just - You're failing again - We should write something  like 'epic fail' on your forehead...."  I gasped and held my stomach.

--------------------LATER-------------------

We were coming out of the cinema hall when Loki accidentally tripped over a little girl making her spill her orange juice. She began to cry immediately and I glared at Loki.

"Why are you tormenting my ears, you little mewling mortal!?"  Loki hissed at the girl, and unfortunately her father came.... Wow, he was like a second Thor. Buff arms, buff legs, buff chest, buff eyebrows....

"Did ya just spill my daughters juice, you bum?"  The guy threatened and grabbed Loki's collar, lifting him like a feather.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."  Loki said and smiled mischievously. What was he up to?

"And if I did, what would you do?"  The guy scoffed.

"I have an army."

"Yeah, right.... what freakin' army?"

"OH MY GOSH! GIRLS IT'S TOM HIDDLESTON!"  A girl behind me shouted and all the other females around us turned their heads with desperate desire in their eyes.

Oh-oh..... I quickly stepped aside and watched as a crowd of Hiddlestoners tackled the buff guy, or Loki respectively, because once the guy and his daughter were thrown out of the cinema, they threw themselves on Loki.

Poor guy.....

"GET OFF OF ME YOU MEWLING *****S!"  I heard him yelling but he had no chance. Half an hour later, after I took enough pictures and videos for Tumblr, I shouted:

"Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans are in cinema hall number 5!"

For a second, they froze and a girl who must be the general of Loki's Army replied:

"We don't give a damn! Loki is our king!"  And they continued satisfying their Loki-/Tom-feelings.

"Where is he?" Another girl suddenly asked.

"Tom? TOM? TOM! TAHM! TAHM! TAAAAAAAAHM!"  

They kept searching for him, only I knew where he was. Getting into my car, I saw him on the back seat. Legs curled up to his body and arms around his knees, Loki kept rocking back and forth muttering something incomprehensible.

"F-f-fangirls.... There were s-so m-m-many f-f-f-f-fangirls. I want my mommy! Oh, right, I don't have a mommy..."  He stuttered. 

I reached out with my arm to strap him in but he slapped my hand away and yelled:

"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" 

"Alrighty, then! Sorry, I annoyed you with m friendship. Jeyzaahs..."  I said and drove to the SHIELD HQ.

Once we were there, I didn't know how take him to his cell unseen. An idea crossed my mind....

"Oh, no, how could I forget that! Loki, your fangirls wanted to assemble today right here! We have to get you into your cell fast!" 

"NO NO NAAAW! NO FANGIRLS PLEASE!"  He uttered and finally followed willingly to his cell.

We entered the room and.... shit. Tony was there, with a bottle of liquor in his hand, and chatting with TERM!

".... and then I was like 'Brother, please!' and he totally fell for it!"  Tom said and they both laughed together.

I gasped and unfortunately Tony noticed me and turned his head.

"Hey, kiddo, is that guy your new boyfriend? He looks pretty dishevelled.... What did ya do to him?"  Tony teased. Gosh, how this man annoyed me sometimes!

"Do you know what I have been through, you pathetic- !"  Loki began but I covered his mouth quickly.

"Er... No, but he is quite confused and seems to know something about Loki so I have to be alone with him for a few minutes. Would you please get out?"  I asked him impolitely.

"Chill out, I gotta go anyway." Tony replied and left the room.

"Now come on, Loki! Change you appearances!" 

He did, and I walked him into his cell taking off the device around his neck. Tom stood there in the same shredded clothes the Hiddlestoners destroyed. Oh no, even his LEATHER JACKET!   He had chapstick all over his beautiful face.  I shook hands with him.

"Thank you, Tom. For everything. But there is still one question I have...."

"Of course, out with it."  Tom encouraged me politely.

"How can you stand all this? All the fangirls and stuff.... I mean Loki had literally been attacked."

"This is for me to know and for you to guess, love."  He replied with this addictive accent and tapped my nose with his finger.

"Um, before you go...."

"Yeah?"  He said and turned around again.

"Would you mind giving me an autograph on my Avengers-DVD?"

"Ehehehe, no, not at all."  Tom responded and signed my DVD. I gave him a hug that was too brief and watched with regret as he left.

What an awesome man.

A/N:  LOKI/TOM-FANGIRLS ASSEMBLE!!!!!

COMMENT + VOTE + FAN PLEASE ♥☺♥☺♥