Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 75: Ice Ice Baby

"Is this how you repay me, Nerdellia?"

Ashamed silence. Tormenting silence.

"Is this your thankfulness? After I let you in, offered you a new life here? After I saved your husband's sorry ass from execution? After I allowed more and more concessions?"

Their cheeks reddened in shame. The burden of their misdeed could not be carried; not by Odin, not by Thor... and of course neither by Loki. But that wasn't so much of a surprise. He no lift #no#abs

"Not even Roger's untouched-ness is innocent enough to cover your shame. I am beyond disappointed."

Fury's eyes - pardon, his eye - scanned them both attentively. Searched for any sign of a scam of Loki's, a trick of his - pardon, an illusion. He had always hated it when Thor called his black magic 'tricks'. It seemed so far in the past now, this profound conversation...

"Is this once again one of your tricks, Loki?"

"Illusions, Thor! Tricks are something a fool does for money!"

"Whatever, I want some Bilgesnipe haunch."

This here was serious. This was outrageous. Perverted. It had never occurred, in the entire history of mankind, until now.

"It's not what you think it is! Uncle Nick - "

"Not. One. Word." 'Uncle Nick' silenced his niece. His unnerving stare was frightening enough already.

"Allow me to assure you, furious Director Fury, that she never - "

"Did I allow the asparagus to speak? I did not, I recall."

"Asparagus?" Loki whispered and frowned. No one had ever called him asparagus. "Well, at least he didn't call you sparrowgrass." Nerdie whispered back rubbing her stomach. The cramps.

"You know what I will have to impose now."

"No more Twilight nights?" All the colour yielded from Nerdellia's face. This was beyond serious.

"No more fan fiction?" Loki was even paler (as paler as his already cadaverous visage could get. He should eat more apples).

"I hate to break it down to you, Nerdellia, because no matter how much you mess up, I still carry the responsibility for you - "

"But I'm - "

" - no, you are not. I am fully aware of the fact that you are eighteen. But you're not to be without legal guardianship until the age of 21. Therefore, I order this to be taken care of."

"Taken care of?" Loki repeated and grasped his wife's hand tighter. He remembered what his father - pardon, his adoptive father would do after ordering something to be taken care of.

Banishments. On a regular basis. He once banished a vacuum cleaner for 'not being wise enough to purge the throne room adequately'. Loki shivered.

"Immediately." The Director reinforced. It was troublesome to The Spy, this much was clear, although Fury's expression revealed nothing but fury. He wasn't a stone, and he cared for Nerdie. "It will be exterminated before some global catastrophe happens."

"You cannot force me to abort!"

"I'm afraid I will have to. If you didn't have the responsibility to prevent this, this monster - " Fury pointed at the small bulge. "Then I will have to consider it my responsibility to protect the world from it."

"This is illegal!"

"We're a secret service. How much of what we do is actually legal? My choice has been made."