Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 21: Mischievous Flirting

"OMG TOM HIDDLESTON HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND! I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T EUGH EUGH EUGH."

I screamed while sitting in front of Loki's container and following some tumblr about Hiddles.

"Mortal women are just such easy lays." Loki scoffed and I shot him a look like that: -.-

"We are not." I growled.

"Oh, yes, you are. You are no more than the mewling creatures men please themselves with."

"I bet you couldn't ask a woman out."

"I could force her."

"What I mean is that you are too evil and unfriendly to make her go out with you willingly."

I knew how this was going to end. Loki was simply too proud.

"Is that a challenge, mortal?"

"What do you think?"

"I bet I can get at least three women to go out with me."

"And I bet you can't. All or nothing is the stake."

------------LATER---------------------

We were sitting on a bench in the park. The park was a great place to meet women because it was rather romantic and full of single girls. Or 'forever-alone-girls', as I called them.

"See that blonde chick over there?" I whispered and pointed to a woman a few metres away from us.

"The one with the coffee?"

"Yup. Go get her, King of Retarded Snow Men."

He hissed at this remark, but went over to her. I convinced him to change his dress, so he wore something that still looked Asgardian but not too creepy.

"Good day, filthy mortal. Take mine hand and say 'I am thine'."

The blonde woman looked at him like she was calling the cops any second and spilled her coffee over his head. Poor Loki, his scalp was burning. Loki came back to me about to kick the next tree.

"Good job, Snowy. But how about being more, ah.... What do you Asgardians say? Friendly?"

"Do not mock me, mortal. That mewling q**** was not worth my attention anyway. The next one will say 'yes'."

"Alright, try the girl with the green sweatshirt."

She looked rather young, about 16. Loki accepted the challenge nodding and walking up to her.

"Greetings, young brat. Would you contemplate being wed to me? Our children will be invincible, I see your fire and it will make them Gods and Goddesses. My ice and your fire, we will conquer Asgard together and die the destined death of martyrs - "

"Just escaped from bughouse, didn't ya?" She interrupted him.

"Uh, Pardon? I am afraid I do not understand."

"Look, I have no time for idiots. Here you have a dollar, go buy a coffee, you hobo."

Oh-oh.... Loki would slit her throat any second.

"This is..." Loki said with a constrained voice, but then swallowed. ".... the most friendly thing a human has ever called me yet. But I suppose you have made your choice, young mortal - "

( dramatic voice)

" - KNEEL!"

"SECURITY!"

And within a few seconds he was on the ground in handcuffs.

Baaad Loki. I need to teach him good pick-up lines.