Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 18: Baby Loki (Part 4/4)

It became more difficult with Loki. He was a teenager now, and he wasn't giving a damn on what we were telling him.

Banner told him not to prick him with sharp things, and instead of being mature and preventing a Hulk-Out, Loki provoked the danger and keep trying to upset Bruce. Being his mischievous and slightly evil nature, he pricked him one time with a scissors.

And Hulk being the Hulk.... well let's say, he managed to smash engine 1 and set Fury's office on fire, as well as breaking Coulson's sunglasses. He was pretty angry after that happened.

Oh, but that wasn't the worst.

Learning his magic from the very beginning, he kept using it on the guys and Natasha. For example, he made Natasha's cat suit tighten every week so she thought she was getting fatter and fatter.... Poor girl, it took a very long time till she found out that it was Loki.  And since Loki wasn't a baby anymore, she swore to have revenge. 

Having pranked Steve already so many times, Loki decided to have some mercy. Instead of doing worse to him, as he would put it, he only took the old video of Captain dancing to 'U Can't Touch This' and uploaded it on YouTube. There were comments like:

"So that's how Stevie really is... interesting!"

"Captain AmericASS xD"

"OMG STEVE CALL ME PLEASE!!! OMG YOU'RE SOOO HOT OH I JUST FAINTED....."

"I do not feel safe. This idiot can not protect us, he possesses no discipline and no self-respect! In my opinion, he shouldn't be allowed to join the US Army."

"I thought One Direction couldn't sing, but this is even worse."

"MARRY ME!!!!!"  

Well.... And to talk about Thor, Loki didn't have to do anything more than saying "I don't love you, you oaf!"  and Thor was unconsolable. Yeah, Loki became pretty arrogant and a pain in the ass.

But what he did today was nothing compared to all the other things. He came through the front door to where we were all sitting and discussing something boring with Fury.

A blonde chick was in his arms, and one of that sort of brats that keep bitching around about everything. Only from looking at her, I could tell that she was stupid and smug. She was wearing clothes, but nevertheless she seemed half naked. Why would Loki bring such a b... beautiful girl *note the sarcasm* into the hellicarrier.

"Who is this maiden, Loki?"  Thor boomed instantly and 16-year old Loki smirked. 

"This is my pride and joy." He answered slyly, putting her down. "This is Wendy."

"That's Wendy?"  Clint asked disbelievingly.

"Ya." Loki answered and I couldn't help but give her death-glares. Loki was MINE. And since when did he speak American?!

"But Loki, you can impossibly.... allow the presence of such a disrespecting Midgardian around you."  Thor tried to convince him, but Teenie Loki was unconvincable. He ran a hand though his messy hair and kissed that brat in front of Thor, in front of me, in front of everyone.

"LOKI!!!!"  I yelled, startling him and catching his attention. He broke the kiss and faced me.

"I will not allow this. YOU WILL NOT FORNICATE WITH THAT WORTHLESS...!!!!"

"Don't talk about her like that! She is my girlfriend, and she will be my princess and true queen of Asgard!!"  

"WHAT!!??!"  We all screamed together, Thor summoning his hammer in his hands.

"It's true, Loki promised me to make me the rightful queen of Asgard and there is nothing you can do!" 

Ok, that's it. This chick will die by my hand.

I jumped on her and pinned her to the ground. Since I wasn't allowed to use my gun on her, I took Coulson's shoe and maltreated her ugly, artificial visage. Of course Loki wouldn't just stand there and look at me. No, she threw himself at me and we were getting a bigger and bigger bunch of people wresting on the ground over each other.

Thor threw his massive body on Loki, almost crashing him, me and the brat at once. Steve and Clint shrugged and joined us while Natasha and Fury just glared at them like their looks could kill.  Bruce didn't want to make a mess, so he left in time and locked himself up in Loki's old cage.

By the time, Steve was biting Clint's leg while he was stabbing Thor's shoulder with arrows while he was pulling Loki's hair while he was almost ripping my foot out while I was killing that toy of his. Oh, and by the way she was hitting Steve's ass instead of trying to dodge my blows.

Of course Tony was filming everything with his StarkPhone, laughing his ass off.

Agent Hill was about to throw a grenade at us but before she could release the safety catch, we all froze when we heard a strange noise.

Loki, who was over me and the girl and under Thor, Clint and Steve, began to whimper. Then, it turned into gasping and soon he seemed to be screaming in pain.

They guys got off of him and I pushed myself away in case he was having a shock, but none of that kind happened. Loki flinched and thrashed around, glowing dark green and black.

And then, in front of our eyes, the old Loki appeared. His hair was its normal length, there were no pimples on his pale cheeks anymore, he became a bit taller and gained some muscles. The mischief that was in his teenage eyes was replaced by pure evilness.

"What happened? What are you fools looking at?!"  Finally, my old Loki was there.

"Er...."  Thor began, then looked back at me and the brat. "Brother, you - "

"I'm not your brother!"

"Well, Loki.... It seems like you fell for a mortal. A saucy, but mortal one. And you promised her to make her the queen of Asgard, much to my despite."

"Wha-What.... That, that ugly, stupid, pathetic and mewling qu*** is my betrothed?!"

"No, NO No!!!!  Of course not!"

"Good, because I am going to kill her."  He snarled and raised his hand, making the blonde chick suddenly disappear.

"Where is she, Loki?"  I asked and tried to hide my malicious pleasure.

"Oh, I sent her to Jotunheim. She wanted to be queen, didn't she? I am sure Laufey will be pleased with her. Oh, and she grew a very ugly moustache."

Then his gaze stuck to the photo album that was on the table. Natasha and I had taken a photo of Loki every day ♥

"What....the hell.....happened."

A/N: WENDY IS DEAD!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

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