Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 47: Mischievous, French Wedding (Part 1)

(Third Person's P.O.V.)

It was a warm summer day.

It's been exactly one year since Loki tried to conquer Midgard and was doomed to stay with SHIElD.

Every event, every stupid situation and every senseless moment has led to this, to this day.

Somehow, it might have been fate that the Tesseract was destroyed, for otherwise Nerdie and Loki would have never met. Surely they wouldn't.

She look a bit like a Barbie with her pink dress and her hair pinned up and whose colour will not be mentioned so you can think yourself into her place better.  The heels, the bouquet... Everything looked beautiful.

There wasn't much decoration, but everyone she had ever loved respectively annoyed to death was there; The Avengers, Nick, the guy she almost shot...

Nerdie was on adrenaline, if she came undone just for one second she'd begin to jump around and scream in happiness and rapture.

Thor... or Loki stood already at the 'altar' and the others had formed an isle, all in tuxes and dresses. 

Where was the priest respectively the guy who would get them married? Was Loki even able to marry a mortal? He wasn't from Earth, nor was he Christian. 

She eventually reached 'Thor' with feet sure as hell bleeding and a face covered with a creepily happy smirk. The looked into each others eyes, Nerdie saw that Loki's green eyes had remained. 

Tom by the way was shackled and in his war suit, looking sinisterly around and glaring the crap out of everyone. His portrayal was remarkably extraordinary and believable, even for him. Nobody would've doubted him if not for his blue eyes that nobody seemed to notice except for Nerdie.

"Lady Nerdellia Ass - "

She shot the guy a glare that said everything. 

" -  Lady Nerdellia, do you take the attendant Prince Thor Odinson of Asgard as your beloved husband, to love and to cherish, to hold and to  - "

"Yeah, yeah to hold and to feed and to look after, I got it! It's not like I'm adopting an animal, home dawg." She interrupted the marriage-maker-guy again.

"Uh, er, well. I take that as a 'yes'."

"Clever guy."  'Loki' commented and got punched in the ribs by Natasha. Poor Tommy.

"And Prince Thor Odinson of Asgard, do you take attendant Nerdellia Ass - "

"GAH!?!" 

" - the attendant Lady Nerdellia as your beloved wife, to love and to cherish, to hold and to protect, 'till death does you apart?"

"Oui, je le fais."  'Thor' almost shouted (Loki must be playing his part very authentically too), but gasped straightaway, just like everyone else.

"Uh, sorry? I'm afraid I did not understand."

"J'ai dit que je veux l'épouse. Oh là là, mon Dieu! Qu'est-ce qui ce passe?!" 

"Dude!" Nerdie elbowed him in the ribs and trod on his foot. Aye, he was supposed to play Thor, but not entirely stupid!

They both looked at 'Loki', who had an anxious look on his face.

Oh, oh... Some magic evidently went wrong. 'Thor' was speaking French, and nobody understood!

"Sir, I can not get you married if you do not speak English." 

"Ferme ta bouche, quelle créatue pathétique et insolente! Je suis un dieu, tu mortel stupide!"  'Thor' went on, and they all just shook their heads. 

Just then, a bright and colourful tornado hit the platform they were standing on. Out stepped no other than Odin, the All Father himself. At the same time their surroudings spun and changed into a real wedding place, covered with white and red flowers. 

All: Da hell...?

"THOR! MY FAVOURITE SON WITH MY GOLDEN LOCKS AND THE BLESSING OF HEAVEN!"

"Merde!"  (A/N: 'Shit' in French.) 

"I have missed you so much! Oh, hello Loki."  He went on in a much calmer tone of voice and directing the speech to 'Loki'.

Tom couldn't hide his astonishment anymore, he just met the King of the Gods of Asgard! Mr. Tom Perfect Hiddleston just went into fangirl mode. 

"All Father...!"  He mouthed with widened eyes and a feeling rising in his chest that was strong enough to burst the manacles. 

"What the ********** hell is going on on this ********* ship!?"  Fury added taking off the tie that was annoying him all the time. 

"HOW ARE THOU MY BELOVED SON?" Odin boomed and locked 'Thor' in a gut-squeezingly tight hug that raised him off the ground. 'Thor' groaned and tried to free himself without giving away who he really was.

"Oh, le Père des Tous! Ah, ça va, je pense."

"WHAT ARE THOU SAYING MY LITTLE BABY BOY? IS THAT THE LANGUAGE OF THE MORTALS?" 

"Father! Uh, I mean, Odin!"  'Loki' spoke up for the first time. All the eyes went to him. 

"What do you want, Loki? Don't you see I am busy marrying my beloved son to the beautiful woman he loves?"  Odin snapped at him and everyone understood why Loki turned out the way he did. 

"I - I am so sorry! I love you, daddy!"  He cried and threw his arms across a very baffled All Father. Could this get any more weird?

Loki's necklace was definitely out or order of something since it got 'Thor' to speak like a pissed of Frenchman needing a toilet and 'Loki' to love the man that abused and neglected his favourite character of Norse Mythology.

Well, shit happens. 

"Oh, Loki, you... You only wanted a hug, all those times? Why did you not tell me before?"

"Non, je ne voulait pas ces acts d'amour stupides! Je voulait la force illimité!"   'Thor' butted in with an unnerved expression and a look of those green eyes that could kill.

"Oh, my future husband wants a Poptart!"  Nerdie interposed grabbing a Poptart from the Made-In-Asgard Buffet and stuffing in 'Thor's' mouth to keep his mouth shut. 

Since she didn't understand French she thought her Loki was pranking around to ruin his own wedding, and that she would not have. She was a woman after all, and breaking a woman's heart's consequences are equatable with breaking all of your bones.

"Oh, Loki... I am so sor - Wait, what is that? Since when do you wear female jewellery? Are you playing Lady Loki again, or - WHO ARE YOU?!" 

Odin had just ripped off the necklace Loki had given Tom before. That meant his appearance changed from dark and pale to adorable and innocent again. 

"YOU VILE AND UGLY THING! YOU IMPOSTER! 'TIS A DECOY, AN ASSASSIN TO KILL US! EXECTUE HIM!" 

"OH MY GAWD IT'S TOM HIDDLESTON! AAAHHHH!"  Well, that was Natasha throwing herself at a raging Odin and to prevent him from chopping off the Hiddles' Head. 

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FURTURE HUSBAND! Oh wait, it's the other! But still, don't kill him! He's hawt!"  Nerdie yelled. 

All: WHAT?! We thought you love Thor! 

"Well, damn it." 

Well, that just blew their cover.

A/N: BAM! I'm gonna end it here because I'm too lazy to write one long chapter :P What do you think? 

Have I ever told you that I own a Loki T-Shirt with 'Made in Asgard' and 'Loki'd' on the back? Well, now you know :D

Please vote and comment, 

Woman_Of_Mischief