Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 41: Royal Shades of Green

(Third Person's P.O.V.)

They wouldn't have considered it possible, but somehow Loki's new 'novel' didn't stay behind closed doors (respectively closed glass).

When he had his short obsession with 'Beautiful Creatures', Loki couldn't help but begin to write Fan Fiction.  Some (of course female) fans of Loki's had hacked into one of Nerdie's cameras and published the oeuvre online *cough TUMBLR cough*

It was now officially known as 'Royal Shades of Green' written by no other than the God of Mischief in his prison. 

Some considered it the universe's gift to all women on Midgard, some considered it a sign or a forerunner of the future ruler of the planet. No one knew for sure, but they were all in agreement about the perfection of this piece of art. 

The humans inevitably couldn't resist to find the ingenious author and get some informatinon out of him. They managed to break into the Hellicarrier while Fury had parked it next to McDonald's (he likes his FastFood fresh). 

Nerdie was tied to a chair and mouth-cuffed coldheartedly with an apple so the reporters would have all the time of the world to ask questions and find out more about the man that bewitched a whole generation of desperate teenage girls.

"Mr. Laufeyson, how does it feel to have ruined all the remaining men on the planet for women?"

"Mr. Laufeyson, have you ever read 'Shades of Grey'? Are you not afraid you could be sued for copyright infringement?"

"Mr. Laufeyson, do you get fan mail? Despite your dwell in space jail?"

"Mr. Laufeyson, rumor has it you are pregnant yet again. Is there any truth to this?"

"Sir, how come you speak English? Do you speak English in Ass Guard? Do you guard your asses in English, too?"

They were all talking across each other, not giving Loki the chance to even answer one single question.

"SCREW JOURNALISM! I WANT YOUR BABIES MR. LOKI!!!"  Well, that was obviously a female one.

"Loki, please! One picture! Look here!" 

"MR. LOKI!!! SIGN THIS PLEASE!!! WE HAVE PEN, WE HAVE PEN!" 

"Oh, so you have pen? WELL, KEEP IT AND STAB YOUR OWN THROAT WITH IT!" 

They suddenly fell silent at once. Nobody was talking, screaming or crying anymore. Loki was angry, he was very angry to be disturbed and almost violated like this.

Yes, our Mischief's King loved attention and stuff, but this was too much. This was disrespectful in his eyes.

"KNEEEEEYYYUUUUL!"

The dumb mortals stared at each other, then remembered who was talking and slowly but surely knelt in front of the container. Loki stood tall before them, looking down at them with scorn and doubtlessly plotting their deaths later after the magazine articles were published.

"Mortals! You are tasting the joy of luck, luck to be allowed to be in my presence. Your King. I am burdened with glorious purpose - "

"We know that! Say something new, Mr. King!"  

Nerdie had somehow managed to spit out the apple, now she was fighting against the rope that was keeping her arms behind the chair.  Loki shot her a sadistic glare, a glare saying 'Shut up or I will stab you!' , but Loki's alleged girlfriend wasn't going to be intimidated that easily.

"Silence, woman!" 

"Or else? What are you going to do, my lovely and faithfull husband?" 

That caused an 'ooohooo' to go through the crowd, no doubt Nerdie had just spread a new rumor. 

"I am not your husband! Know your place, maid!"

"Hey, guys! Yeah, you! Interviewers, reporters, fangirls! It is true, Loki is pregnant! He's carrying my child!" 

They began to murmur again, now much louder and more energetic. 

"But Mr. Loki! How is that possible? Is this Agent, your wife, another Goddess undercover?"

"I knew it! Look at his belly, he's definitely pregnant! I bet it's another animal!"   A woman from the last row shouted.

"How are you going to name your child, Mr. Laufeyson? Will it be an Asgardian or a mortal? Or a horse?"

"I AM NOT ********* PREGNANT AND THERE IS NO CHILD! AND THIS MAID IS DEFINITELY NOT MY WIFE!"

"What am I, then? Huh, Loki? Just another One-Night-Stand? Like Natasha Romanoff?" 

Nerdie was succeeding, she was embarrassing Loki by indirectly spreading rumors and lies about him. That was what the God of Lies deserved at least.

"Mr. Loki, could your child be the child of Natasha's? Could there be any connection to your earlier obsession with her?" 

"THERE WAS NO OBSESSION AND I DID NOT FORNICATE WITH THAT RED HEADED SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!!!" 

"But Loki, I saw you! I even have evidences!"  Nerdie interposed and grinned creepily. 

"LIAR! NOW GET ALL OF YOU OUT OF HERE YOU DUMB CREAURES! I AM A GOD AND I WILL NOT BE EMBARRASSED BY SUCH PUNY - "

"Mr. Loki, wait! Just one last question! Is your best-selling novel a reflection of your feelings for Agent N. ?" 

They waited. 

Loki was thinking, his gaze swaying to Nerdie and back to his pushy and annoying audience. That was the perfect chance for payback, Loki could simply say 'no' and Nerdie would become just another walking toy in Loki's life. Her reputation would be ruined, everyone would laugh about her.

No matter how annoying Nerdie could be, in rejecting her like his he would do to her what no one deserved. 

But the things was, Loki was the evil God of Mischief.

He decided to spit into her face and to trample on her pride. 

"No."  He replied coldly and turned around. 

His audience stood up, giving Nerdie both sympathetic and mocking looks as they passed her. She tried to bite her lip and stop the tears, but her eyes weren't obeying her anymore. 

Loki began to hear her choked sobbing when there was no one inside the cell but the two of them. He raised his head and looked slightly over his left shoulder to her.

"My feelings for her are far stronger than those of Ethan and Lena in my novel."

A/N: SURPRISING TURNING POINT! D'awwww <3 

This chapter was inspired by a Youtube video I saw recently. There was Tom, lovely and handsome as always, signing autographs of pushy and stupid autograph hunters. 
They were so rude and impolite, they even prevented the real fans from meeting their idol!

"Those were autograph hunters - not real fans. They show up at events, push real fans out of the way, and get the autographs so they can sell them on the Internet. Those people weren't real fans."

 - some Hiddlestoner I don't know.

Please don't buy his autographs on the Internet because you are only encouraging these idiotic douche bags to bug Tom and his devoted fans! I enclosed the video on the right.

Okay, now to my comment about this chapter :3  

How did you find it? Was it okay? Feedback is much appreciated ^^

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Woman_Of_Mischief