Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)

Chapter 71: That Special Day [Part 2]

(Third Person's P.O.V.)

There was this silence, this unbearably dangerous silence in the air. It was far too silent to be safe, that was all Loki knew for sure. 
Mr. Mischief had no clue what this so-called "Nerf Gun" was, let alone how to use it and against whom. 

"How dares she bestow me with such vulgar - " 

Poor little Frost Giant couldn't even finish his insult, for he came under fire instantly. The first shot stroke him in his cold (or rather boiling hot?) ... bottom.

"Ow!"   He screamed out and covered the fresh hole in his pyjamas with his hand. "Insolent - " 

"Guard your ass, Asgardian! Or should I say 'Ass-Guardian'?" 

And he saw her. Nerdie, his wife, his love, his demise, the biggest pain in the ass in his life 

Literally.

She was dangling from the ceiling with her legs around one of the many iron beams giving her the only support. If Loki was clever enough to shoot her off there he'd have a big advantage. Now she was exploiting her higher position. 

"Damn you and your vile games, woman!"  He exclaimed taking his weapon and hurling it towards her with the power of ten wrecking balls. 

Alas, there was a reason Loki never joined the hunters or archers back in Asgard as a child. Our most precious was miserable at aiming.

The Nerf Gun missed its target, bounced off the wall, then off another one, before hitting the back of his head. 

"That was your weapon, Lollipop. Ya know, home dawg... The trigger's there for a reason."

"I will kill you, I promise you."

"Power. Use it wisely."  Nerdie quoted and had a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Surely a side effect of six litres of blood bursting her dipshit brain. 

"Why are we doing this!? NERDELLIA!"   Poor Loki rubbed his pulsating head while losing his nerves. 

Apparently they had to repeat the therapy against his anger management issue anew. Ah. What a shame. Loki could be such a darling when he wasn't being an appshole. [Yes, appshole]

"YOU HAVE OFFENDED ME AND MADE ME SAD! AND YOU FORGOT THIS SPECIAL DAY!" 

"What bloody special day are you taking about!?"

"AND NOW YOU'RE PRETENDING YOU DON'T KNOW! LOKI LAUF-ASS-SON, I WILL BREAK YOU JUST AS YOU HAVE BROKEN MY HEART!" 

"For Odin's sake, woman! Just tell me!" 

"NAW!"   And she shot at him again. 

Yet this time, Loki was prepared. He managed to do a beautifully elegant split. The cracking sound echoed through the empty room and sent chills down the spectators spine. 
Yes, we're talking about spectators. 

Fury of course demanded what Nerdie could offer in return for an hour alone at SHIELD HQ ... And no one wanted to miss another embarrassment of the man they all hated. As always, he was the victim. 

"Woman!" 

"My name's NERDEEEH! YOU SHOULD'VE LEARNED THAT BY NOW! But I guess you just don't love me, that's why you forgot this special day!" 

"You're not starting with this again, are you? I'm sorry, incredibly and sincerely sorry!"

"You, sir, are incapable of sincerity!"  

And Nerdie shot at him again. Loki's patience was running out... Slowly (or not so much?) but surely. This time, Loki threw all his disgust for human weaponry metaphorically out of the window and picked up the Nerf Gun. It look primitive.