Sirius Black's Twin

Apology

Lyra was always known to be stubborn, and no one - not even her husband - had ever seen her apologize sincerely. It had always been someone else who told her they were sorry, and she had always been fine with it. But to see her husband sitting next to her, eyes wider than a frightened puppy’s as he repeatedly told her how sorry he was didn’t feel right.

After all, what was it he had to apologize for? For being in the wrong place at the wrong time? For being tortured into almost insanity? He was strong, maybe even stronger than Lyra herself, to be able to actually slip back into the normal world. And yet, here he was, apologizing…

“I shouldn’t have pushed you too far,” Nick said, gently touching Lyra’s pale hand. “You were hurting. And I’m sorry for leaving you to raise the kids by yourself, too, that was selfish of me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Lyra murmured, turning her head away from him so he wouldn’t see her bottom lip quivering.

“Can you forgive me?” Nick asked, oblivious.

“It’s not your fault,” Lyra repeated, biting her lip as she turned back to him, her eyes peaking up from beneath her eyelashes. “You shouldn’t be apologizing, Nick.”

A flicker of surprise came on his features as he stared down at his wife. They hadn’t spoken in months – not besides the occasional stiff conversations over breakfast – and here he was saying it was all his fault, finally. But she said it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you, Nick,” Lyra admitted, her cheeks flushing at his incredulous stare. “I was just hurting and you were there… but that isn’t an excuse, is it?” Lyra sighed in frustration, running her hands angrily through her hair. “It’s just that Lynx and Will and even Estelle were so angry with me because of some stupid thing I said! And then they left and you were the only one on my side but I didn’t even care! I just saw you there and… and I wanted you to hurt just as much as I was… after that I was just waiting for your apology. I thought I wanted it but – I don’t. You have nothing to apologize for, Nick. Not for anything.”

A silence met her speech, and the hand that rested on hers had long ago been removed. Lyra played with the hem of her nightgown, waiting for a sigh saying that she was off the hook. Of course, she shouldn’t have doubted her husband’s love for her, because he would have forgiven her for anything.

Nick felt his love for her swell ten-fold as she avoided eye contact with him and fidgeted self-consciously. He had never heard her apologize, and he had always thought that her stubbornness was the most beautiful thing about her, but now he couldn’t help but think that he had never seen something quite so beautiful as her right at this moment. He wrapped his arms around her, and felt her muscles ease into him, fitting perfectly.

“I thought my apology showed you that I had already forgiven you, Lyra,” Nick murmured into her thick black hair.

Lyra laughed airily, feeling winded as she snuggled up next to him. She’s missed this. “You could have been faking it,” she pointed out teasingly.

Nick snorted. “Why would I do that?”

“To avoid awkward breakfasts,” Nick could just tell that she was smirking. “I don’t even think I could have stood another one of those.”

“You would have seen through my lie,” he retorted.

Lyra closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, easing her back into a big blue pillow. “True,” she sighed, right before her breathing evened out as she slipped into a deep slumber.

Nick smiled softly at her sleeping form, and eased her into a more comfortable position. In sleep, Lyra looked sweet and innocent, nothing like when she was awake and her cunning mask was slipped on. Her pale face was soft and smooth of any worry, and her eyebrows weren’t sharp with mischief. In sleep, Nick couldn’t help but think that Lyra resembled an angel.