It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

Tear It Up

*May 5th 1975*
**Megan's POV**

Roger and I went to the hospital to visit his mother. The hospital rang and told us she was moving slightly but that had been it for a few days. She didn't move anymore. This got Rogers hopes up and he was disappointed when that was all that happened. I tried to cheer him up but he wasn't easy to amuse at times like these. He was usually the one who did the cheering up so I was struggling when the tables turned.

The kids kept him optimistic and happy. He was bouncing them on his knees when I walked into the living room one evening. "Hello babe." He said, kissing me on the forehead as I sat down. "Hey how are you?" I asked. "Well," he said. "Not too bad, I've been better I suppose." I took his hand. "Roger, I just want you to know, that if your mother passes away, you don't have to feel guilty." I told him. He put his head down. "But I will. I know I will." I took Aidan from him and cradled him in my arms. Roger put Elly propped up against the couch and then put his head in his hands. "Its just...... I shouldn't feel like this, y'know? I should be annoyed at her. I mean I was, really annoyed. But now that there's the chance of losing her..... I suddenly feel bad for ever feeling that way about her." I didn't reply. I knew that when Roger ranted like this he didn't want a response. I just rocked Aidan back and forth until he fell asleep. It was about 9 o'clock when I finally checked the time after watching t.v. for a bit. I stood up to put the kids to bed. I looked at Roger and saw that he was fast asleep. I brought the kids upstairs and put them to bed and then woke Roger up to tell him to go to bed.

I got onto the floor beside Elly and Aidan and Roger got into his bed. He was talking to me but I wasn't really listening. I was trying to think about how my life could have been different. As I thought of all the different outcomes, I realised that there wouldn't be one single thing that I would change about my life. I finally answered with "What?" when Roger stopped talking but he didn't reply. He was passed out, asleep. I tried to sleep but my mind was racing. I could feel my body tense up. There was nothing to worry about. I felt my breath trap in my throat and I couldn't move my arms and legs. I was trying to call Roger but no words would come out. I started to shake my body slightly, desperate to move. I didn't know what was happening and I was terrified. I heard a muffled "Megan?" come from Roger but couldn't reply. I laid still and let the panic take over my body.

*May 6th 1975*
I woke up on the floor, not knowing where I was. I heard Elly and Aidan crying and I figured out where I was: Truro. It was 6 am and I looked over at Roger. He was still asleep. He was frowning and he was curled up in a ball. I lifted the kids up and carried them downstairs. I brought them outside and sat on the backdoor step with them. It was sunny and very warm. I was feeling tired, like I didn't get a wink of sleep, even though I did. I then realised what happened the night before. I had no idea what it was or why it happened. It just did.

I came back inside and started to make breakfast for Michael and Roger seeing as Winifred wasn't home. Then the phone rang. "Hello?" I answered. It was the hospital. They told me Winifred was awake and looking for her family. The person she was asking to see was Roger. I went upstairs and tried to wake him up but he was in a deep sleep, passed out. I woke Michael up instead. He looked very confused when he first saw me but when I told him the good news he got out of bed straight away. He went into Rogers room and shook him. "He always slept like this as a teenager. Must be the bed." He whispered to me. I giggled. He gently slapped Rogers face and then hit him hard. Roger flinched and frowned. "What the-" he said. "Oh." Michael and I laughed. "Whats up?" He asked. "Your mum's awake and she's asking for you." I said. He got out of bed quickly and got dressed. "Roger!" I said. "God not in front of your father." Said Michael laughing. Roger went red in embarrassment.

Michael and I left the room and he ate the breakfast I prepared. Roger was too excited to eat. Roger didn't eat much anyways. I went outside and got the car running. I came in the backdoor and found Roger sitting on the doorstep. Smoking. "Roger Meddows Taylor!" I said. He looked up, mortified. He put out the cigarette. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. Smoking was my one turn off. My father smoked when he was younger and I nearly lost him to smoking. My brother Anthony smoked too and I was scared I would nearly lose him too. I did not want that worry for Roger. In earlier times I didn't mind his seldom smoking but now he was a father, I didn't tolerate it. "Roger, you know how I feel about smoking. You can't smoke around the kids." I said. "I know I know... I'm sorry." "Its alright." I said and I went inside.

We drove to the hospital and waited outside Winifreds room to be let inside. The nurses said she was very anxious to see Roger. When we were finally let in, Winifreds eyes lit up when she saw Roger. He ran to the bed and gave her a hug. I heard him apologise over and over. It was a lovely sight. Michael kissed Winifreds head and Roger kept on hugging her. Winifred put her arms out to me for a hug. As I was walking over, I felt my legs waver and I dropped to the floor, as I heard Roger calling my name.