It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

You've Taken My Love And Now Desert Me

*September 30th 1977*

All I had done since Roger left was stay in bed and cry. I cried until I was sobbing but there were no tears. I had nothing left to cry. I felt completely useless as I had a daughter to take care of but I couldn't. She was beside me at all times as I cried, crying too.

We both missed him so much. I missed Roger and I also missed Aidan. I knew that Elly felt like half of her was missing. This was nearly the longest Roger and I had been broken up.

A marriage is supposed to have ups and downs, of course. Although, in our marriage, the downs were more impacting and they usually lasted longer. I felt like I was being torn in two. My heart was aching for Roger, but his wasn't for me.

That morning, I awoke and rubbed my eyes, looking to my left. I immediately started sobbing when I saw Rogers side was empty.

Elly came into my room a short while later. It looked like she had been crying too. "Mummy," she asked. "Yes darling?" "When will daddy be back?" I didn't know how to answer her question because I didn't know. "Em, I'm not entirely sure baby." I told her and she nodded sadly.

"Can we call him?" She piped up a minute later. "Oh Elly, that's not really a good idea. Besides I don't know where he is and I wouldn't know what number to call." I said to her and she closed her eyes and tears seeped from her eyelids. I pulled her close and hugged her tight, wishing all of this would just go away.

We both closed our eyes in an effort to sleep but it didn't come quickly. Eventually I fell into a deep slumber.

I was woken when I heard Elly open my bedroom door. "Elly," I said. "Where did you go?" Brian followed her in and she tried to get up into the bed. "Brian what are you doing here?" I asked as I pulled Elly onto the bed beside me. "I called here and Elly answered." Brian told me.

"How did you answer?" I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders. "You mustn't do that again Elly it's too dangerous." I told her. "I'm sorry Mummy. I answered it because I thought it could be Daddy." She mumbled.

I didn't know what to tell her. Brian helped me. "Elly," he said to her. "Why don't you go into your room and get dressed and we'll go somewhere?"

Elly nodded her head and went into her bedroom. Brian sat on the bed next to me. "Thanks for that Brian." I said to him. "Its alright and you're coming with us." He said. "Oh no Brian I don't really feel up to it." I told him. "No you are. You have to come with us. It'll be good for you. Take your mind off Roger."

I got dressed and had a shower and Brian helped Elly. I came downstairs and got into Brians car. "Where are we going?" I asked Brian. "Just wait. You'll see."

We had been driving for a while and Elly fell asleep in the back of the car. "Megan," said Brian once he saw she was sleeping. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want... but what happened between you and Roger?"

"He got tired of my lies...." I said.

"What lies?"

"I'm pregnant. And Roger didn't want a baby. I didn't know how to tell him."

"And does he know now?"

"He has an idea I think, but I didn't tell him so he doesn't know for certain."

"You still haven't told him?" Asked Brian. I shook my head.

There was silence in the car again. We pulled up to a large forest and Brian stopped the car. He looked at me.

"We're going to go on a hike. It'll be good for your mind."

I noticed he dressed Elly in a pair of boots and I understood why.

We started off walking and Brian was telling me about the animals we saw and the types of trees. I was listening to him but my mind kept wandering back to Roger.

"Brian, do you know where Roger is gone?" I asked him. "I meant to tell you this but I didn't want to trouble you..... None of us have heard from him since he left. No one knows where he is. I called his parents and he's not there."

I felt a pang in my heart. Where was he? Was he okay? What about Aidan?

"No one has heard from him? Not a person?" I asked. Brian shook his head of curls.

I sighed and we continuted walk. Elly started to get tired and Brian carried her because I had little energy.

We came to the entrance of the forest again and we were finished. We got back into the car. "How do you feel after that?" He asked me. "Hm...well it was nice to clear my mind but I don't feel any better." I said.

"You're not going to be okay for a long time after this. I know you'll find it hard to get over him but.... You'll have to. He hasn't told anyone where he is.  I don't agree with his choice of course but.... it was his decision and he'll come back when he's ready." Brian started the car and we started driving back to my house.

It was nearly dark when we arrived back home and Brian stayed for a while. He took a blanket out of our room and placed it on the grass in our back garden. I put Elly to bed because she was exhausted.

I joined Brian outside and he was lying on the blanket and staring up at the stars in the night sky.

I lay on the blanket beside him and he started telling me about the planets and solar system and the moon and all the stars. He knew what he was talking about and his voice was so soothing as he talked about the things of his interest. I was still staring up at the sky when I noticed Brian had stopped talking. He was asleep. I shook him and he woke up. He followed me upstairs and said goodnight to Elly. I got into bed and Brian gave me a hug. He noticed it was 2:30 am.

"Oh. I can't go home now. Chrissie will be annoyed if I barge in at this time. Can I stay here?" He asked.

Brian and I slept head to tails in mine and Rogers bed. It felt nice to have someone to share a bed with but it wasn't the same. Nothing would ever be the same as Roger.