It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

You're Driving Me Gaga

I felt like I was spinning even though I was lying on the ground. I felt Roger and another person pick me up. My heart was racing and my eyes were drooping. Roger and the other person placed me on a chair nearby Winifreds bed. I was falling in and out of consciousness. "Are you okay?" I heard a person ask. I tried nodding but my eyes were closing and my head was falling down to my knees. I felt Roger lift my head up gently and put me sitting against the chair. I fell into a deep sleep.

*May 6th 1975*
I woke up in Rogers bed. My arms and legs were aching and so was my head. It felt like I had just ran a marathon or done three hours worth of intense exercise. I had no recollection of how or why I was there. I looked around the room. The kids weren't there and either was Roger. I got out of bed and opened the curtains. It looked to be nearly evening time. Michaels car wasn't in the driveway. I walked down the stairs slowly and went into the sitting room. Roger was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed. "Roger?" I said. He lifted his head up and then got up when he saw me. "Megan! Are you okay? God I was worried sick about you!" He said hugging me tight. I hugged him back. "I'm okay. What happened?" I asked. My memory was blank. "You collapsed when we were in the hospital. Then the nurse came in and she examined you as you were asleep. Love, she diagnosed you with... anxiety.." he told me. I looked at him. "She said you'll suffer with panic attacks any time of the day, anywhere and to be prepared. That's what happened to you." He said again. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I had anxiety? How was I supposed to mind my kids if I had a mental disorder. It wasn't severe but I could have panic attacks whenever? I was scared.

After Roger told me the news, we went to the hospital again to visit his mother. She opened her arms out to hug me and I gave her a tight hug. "Megan," she said. "I'm sorry for everything I've done." "It's okay all that matters is that you're okay. " I told her.

We stayed in the hospital for a while and talked to Winifred and Michael and told them about the twins. Winifred held them in her arms and she cried. "They're so beautiful..." she said through her tears. Roger put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. I watched the happy sight but I still felt upset and worried about my new found illness.

**May 8th 1975**
When Roger and I arrived home the first thing Roger did was send his car to the garage. They tried to tell Roger to just give up on it because it was too old and worn but Roger, then, went outside and started to fix it himself. He brought spanners and screwdrivers outside and came back in a few minutes later. He plopped onto the couch and sighed. "Roger, it's no use. We can just buy a new one." I told him. He didn't reply. "Seriously Roger, you'd think your car is the love of your life or something." I mumbled. "Y'know, I know a guy, one of our roadies, calls Jonathan, Jonathan Harris, and you think I'm bad? That guy is in love with his car." He said matter-of- factly. "So are you..." I said. "I am not!" He grumbled.

*May 10th 1975*
I had the day off work again and I went with Roger to the studio. I was watching him and the boys create their song "Bohemian Rhapsody". I sat in the in the mixing room beside their producer. Freddies voice was like an angels. Brian played his guitar like a pro, Johns bass complimented Rogers drums and he played the drums perfectly. They stopped playing and all went up to the microphone to record the opera section. John didn't. They were waiting for the the track to play and I saw Roger smoke again. I frowned at him and he saw me so he put it out. I honestly didn't know why he was smoking so much. He used to, but not this bad. He used to only smoke when he was drinking which I understood because he craved the smoke but day to day I didn't get.

Me and Roger went home and I made the dinner. As we were eating I addressed Roger about his smoking. "So Roger." I said. He looked up. "Why have you been smoking so much?" He looked confused. "I've always smoked." He replied. "Yeah but not that much and you stopped for good when I was pregnant or at least I thought you did." "I'm under a lot of pressure. This album is make or break and we're not getting paid enough." Was his excuse. I knew he would just continue smoking so I let him carry on but I told him no smoking around the kids.

As we got into bed that night Roger went to kiss me but I could smell the smoke off his breath so I kissed his cheek instead. "No kiss?" He asked. "You smell like smoke." I replied. He tutted. I lay in bed and I could feel my body tense up. I felt alone and afraid even though Roger was right next to me. I started to panic about nothing. I tapped Roger. He sat up. "Roger I'm scared." I whispered. He knew what was happening because it had happened every night since I found out about my anxiety. He held me close and hugged me tight saying "it's okay.... I love you..." as my body trembled with irrational worry.