It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

My Life Is In Your Hands

*September 18th 1977*

My life had become a mess over a number of days. I still hadn't told Roger and I didn't know when I was going to. I just wished all of this would go away but that was not going to happen. My world had come tumbling down after one incident and I didn't know how to pick the pieces back up.

Everything turned sour when Roger and I were in the kitchen that afternoon. We had just been harmlessly chatting when things took a turn for the worst. Roger called me out on my attitude.

"Megan," he started. "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you okay? I mean, you haven't been yourself recently and you seem hormonal. You've been acting kind of aggressive towards me. Is everything okay? You know you can tell me anything."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked angrily.

"No I'm just asking is there anything bothering you?" He asked.

"Why would you ask that?" I asked, getting more angry.

"I already told you, you haven't been yourself." Said Roger, raising his voice. "Also, your stomach looks... larger. What's going on? Are you pregnant?"

I knew I should have taken that opportunity to tell him, but I reacted in the worst way possible.

"Are you calling me fat?!" I screeched. "No! Megan! Come on! I'm sick of this guessing! What are you hiding?" He shouted.

"I'm not hiding anything! Why would you accuse me of that!?" I shouted back.

"You know what? Forget this. If you won't tell me what's going on then I don't care anymore. I cant help you if you won't help yourself!" He shouted and left the kitchen, heading straight upstairs. Roger always went to bed after an argument because it seemed to make him forget about it.

However, my hormones made everything more dramatic and in a frenzy I ran up the stairs after him and bursted into our room. "Why are you saying all these things?" I asked him.

I knew why. Because they were true. I knew how he would react if I told him. I needed to tell him, but the response wouldn't be good. He already knew I was pregnant, he seemed to have figured it out. So why was I acting this way?

"I'm saying all these things because you are lying to me Megan! You know how much I hate lies!" He shouted.

"You're not exactly an angel with the truth either Roger! Don't blame this all on me!" I replied.

"I'm not the one lying about something like this!" He screamed.

After a brief silence, Roger spoke up again. "Can you just stop the lies for for few minutes and tell me the goddamn truth. Please!"

"There's nothing to tell...." I mumbled. I instantly wanted to take the back. Why was I lying. He would prefer the truth, even if it was something he didn't want to hear.

Roger stood up.

"You know what, forget this! I'm fucking leaving! Im sick and tired of this lie! What do you think our life is? A drama on television? Well I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not! I'm giving you one more chance to tell me. What is going on?" He said.

I'M PREGNANT!! I'M PREGNANT!!! was what I was screaming in my head, but my mouth wouldn't let the words out. I couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment on Rogers face when I told him I was pregnant so I lied to him. Again.

"Nothing." I said. Roger walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

I quickly opened it again and found Roger in our children's room taking clothes from their wardrobe. "What on earth are you doing?!" I shouted at him.

"I'm taking Aidan with me. I'll leave Elly with you. Even though you'll probably lie to her too." Snapped Roger before standing up with a bag full of Aidans clothes. "Roger stop. Please. This isn't easy for me. Just let me explain." I said, in an attempt to make things better.

"Explain yourself then. What are you lying to me about?" He asked.

I stayed silent. "Nothing." I said after a minute. Roger picked up the bag and fired it across the hall. "Megan the lying stops here! I've had enough of this! Just stop lying to me!" He screeched.

I had my back pressed against the wall because Roger was literally in my face. So close that I could feel him breathing on my face. "Well?" He asked. "What is it?! What's all this about!? No more lies Megan. Because if they don't finish here, then that's it!"

"You don't understand!" I started. But Roger slapping me across the face stopped me mid sentence.

I immediately fell to the floor and Roger took a step back and looked at his feet with shame. Without saying anything Roger picked the bag up again and I began to cry. I put my head in my hands and cried. Roger stopped in front of me. "Please," he whispered through his tears. "Just please stop lying."

I didn't look up and I heard him walk away and down the stairs.

I sat on the floor for a few hours until Elly came up the stairs crying too. "Mummy," she wailed. "Where is daddy gone?"

I wiped my eyes and picked her up. "He's just gone for a while." I told her. "Will he be back?" She asked with hope in her eyes. "I don't know Elly. I don't know." I said and held her as the two of us cried.

I put her to bed that night and rang Brian when she was asleep. He answered and I told him to come over immediately. "What's wrong?" He asked the minute I opened the door. I put my head in my hands and cried and Brian ran in and hugged me tight.  I bawled into his shirt as he rocked me and kissed my head. He knew Roger was gone. I didn't have to tell him. He knew he wasn't here because I wouldn't be like this if he was. Brian didn't ask any questions. He just hugged me as I came to the harsh realisation that my lies had made ny husband hit me and leave me. The truth hurts but lies hurt even more.