It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

If One Time You Told Me That You Loved Me

The days after Megan's suicide attempt had been spent at the hospital, me and Brian sitting beside her bed, watching for any tiny movement.

According to tests, she had only taken around twenty pills, not enough to completely destroy her liver, but enough to damage it slightly.

She just lay there in the bed, so peaceful. Her face looked so innocent. It hurt my heart to think that she wouldn't have wanted this. She would have wanted the pills to kill her.

I didn't know how long she would be like this, but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it for much longer.

I needed to hear her speak again, I needed to see her move again. I needed her to be her again.

It sounds awful, but I still hadn't told the children yet. They would have been devastated. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that there was a chance their mummy wouldn't wake up.

I almost understood how she felt when I had left, not knowing if I was ever coming back. I knew the kids were upset then, but now they wouldn't find it unbearable.

I was so thankful I had Brian with me all the time. We had just made up, but we were close again, best mates as we always had been.

It was around eleven in the night and I had been at the hospital since eight that morning.  I needed to stay with her all day every day. There was no way I was leaving her.

Brian had left a little while before that and I got into my car and drove back home. The house felt empty. No Megan, and the kids had been staying with Sharon for a few days. They didn't ask any questions. Sharon was like an aunty to them, so they felt comfortable around her. I hadn't told Sharon either. I told her Megan and I were fighting and she understood. I felt like the less people I told, the less real it would feel.

I got home and the phone started ringing. I dropped my stuff and answered it. It was Sharon.

"Hey, Roger," she said.

"Sharon? Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Only my mum had a fall and I need to go to Blackpool tonight to be with her. I'm so sorry, Roger."

"No, it's fine. I'll be over to collect them soon." I said.

"No, I'm heading out now, I'll drop them to you."

"Uh.... Are you sure?" I asked, knowing she'd ask for Megan.

"Yep. See ya in minute."

"Bye.."

I knew I had to prepare how to tell Sharon and then the kids. Sharon was Megan's friend since childhood. They were so close to each other and I knew she would fall apart when she found out her best friend was in a coma.

And the kids wouldn't be much easier. They looked up to their mum so much. Not having her around would tear them up, especially Aidan. I had always said they were alike and it really was true.

I was sitting on the couch, desperate to find something to relieve the pressure and stress. Eating never really solved my problems, it only made them worse.

I had an extreme craving for a cigarette... Maybe some vodka.

My disease was under control. One drink wouldn't harm me, would it?

I felt like I had gone back a few years. There I was, in a cloud of smoke drinking vodka and lemonade.

There was a knock at the door and I threw the bottle under the coffee table, put out the cigarette and opened a window.

I opened the door to Sharon and the kids. They looked happy and they gave me a hug.

"Why don't you guys go upstairs and I'll tuck you in later." I told him and they ran upstairs.

"Sharon... Can you stay for a minute?" I asked.

"Of course." She sat down and I sat across from her at the table.

"Megan and I aren't fighting." I sighed

"Well that's good, isn't it?"

"We never were. She... She took an overdose. She's in hospital. In a coma." I told her and watch the look of horror wash over her face.

"Oh my god! Is she okay?"

"She's stable." I told her.

She didn't say anything more.

I let her out and she drove off.

I breathed a hesitant sigh and walked slowly up the stairs, listen to the kids laughing with each other in their room.

I went in and brought them into mine and Megan's room, putting them on the bed.

"Okay.. so. Please, please, don't be upset. I know it'll be hard but... Mummy is sick. She's in hospital. She's asleep, don't worry."

The kids looked shocked, scared. I noticed Aidan reacted in such a bad way, not crying but his mouth was wide open, and he looked distraught.

I put my arms out to them and they all shuffled across the bed to me. I lay down on the bed and they arranged themselves around me, hugging me and each other.

Luke made his way on top of my chest and fell asleep there. Aidan was one side, Elly the other. I held them close.

"We're all going to stay strong for mummy, okay?" I said.

They all nodded through tears.

I fell asleep with my three precious children laying beside me. I needed them and they needed me. We were a family and we were going to stay as one until Megan woke up again.