It's All So Beautiful *Roger Taylor Fanfic*

I Ain't Crazy

*5th of July 1980*

Ever since I had found out that poor Aidan had been writing letters on pieces of tissue to his dad, I couldn't help but feel like I needed to go down to Roger. To help him. But would he want my help?

The night he left we both exchanged some harsh words. Very harsh words, nasty, mean, things you could never take back kind of words. And even though I was over Roger and couldn't care less about what he thought of me, it still haunted me at night.

To think a person whom I once loved could say all those things about me.

I never wanted to admit it or give into it, but there was always a worry and concern in the back of my mind that Roger didn't love me and that he didn't even from the start.

And after all that had happened, I had started to believe it was true.

I saw the effect his absence was having on the kids.

I saw the effect his absence was having on me.

But I didn't do anything about it.

Simply because I didn't want to get badly hurt again. Because Roger always knew how to hurt me the most.

I thought I was fine without him, but then Chrissie joined Brian in Germany and Sharon got a job and I was left alone. I missed him. I didn't love him, I just missed him.

I missed his company, his little giggles, his hearty laughs, his perfect teeth, his gorgeous eyes. And his beautiful blonde hair. How I missed running my hands through it.....

But that was all over now. Now was now. It would never be the same.

It could have been if we had ended on good terms, but we did the exact opposite. And we ended terribly. Just thinking about it made my stomach churn.

Flashback

*The Day Roger Left*

It was a sunny and warm day outside, however, inside, I was feeling as cold as ice. The tension in the room was so thick and the glares he was giving me made me feel like the worst person in the world. No words were spoken, nor had they been yet. We sat at the kitchen table, just waiting for the kids to finish school so one of us could leave to get them, but niether of us moved; we didn't want to satisfy the other.

He sat, leaning back in his chair, his eyes full of hate and anger, making me feel hot and sweaty. I sat opposite him, my arms folded and glaring back. I couldn't speak because I knew it would come out as a tear.

I checked the clock again, ten more minutes until I could leave. In the meantime, I tried to ignore Rogers intimidating gaze, my eyes fixed on the clock instead.

To my surprise, he spoke up.

"So I suppose you're going to get the kids then?" He said, almost mocking me.

"Yes I am," I replied. "Doesn't look like you're going to so.."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He snapped

"Well you aren't exactly the most caring and loving father in the world are you?" I snapped back.

"Oh just shut up you miserable bitch." He spat.

I felt my heart break in two as he used such a hurtful name, one I could never see him using in all my life.

So I did as he said and said nothing until he spoke again.

"We're recording in Germany this year so don't expect to see a lot of me. Not that I would think you would want to but anyways..."

"So you're just going to leave me with the kids while you go and record? Is that how it's going to work? Because it's not! I'm not staying here as you go off galavanting!"