The New Me

Whatever Number This Is

It feels good to be back in the house. The flashes keep coming every now and then, but overall its been okay so far. We've been hiding in the house for a few weeks now, and decided to wait them out. Eventually they'll forget about what happened...right?

Even though it's good big back in the house, there are still bad memories I have here...the dream, the flashes...Steve. I feel really bad about that. I wish I could take it back, but it's not possible.

I sat in the kitchen drinking tea, as I rubbed my aching temple. The pain still hadn't gone away. Ever since that lady zapped me, the flashes had been more constant. It use to be every few days- it's more like every few hours, but it feels like minutes.

When I say 'I sat in the kitchen' I mean, I sat on the table. I don't know why there weren't any chairs around. So I decided to park myself on the table. Where was everyone? Normally they'd be walking all over the place...now I haven't seen anyone in days. It's like it's me all by myself. Besides Joker. He sits around sometimes, but he's usually busy.

I heard footsteps coming down the hallway, and decided to go see who it was. People...Yay! Getting up, I walked over, and saw three guys carrying boxes out the back door.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

They all froze, and slowly spun around to look at me. One of them, dropped whatever they were carrying, and bolted, while the other two just stared at me.

I walked over to the box he dropped, and picked it up. It was heavier than I expected.

"He's still shakin up from the whole Steve incident." One guy informed.

"Oh, well...he's not the only one. What's in these boxes?" I asked struggling with the one I was holding.

"Just stuff from downstairs."

"Where are you taking them?"

"To the new hideout."

"Bob!" A voice yelled making me jump, and almost drop the box.

"Sorry boss," Bob apologized. "It slipped out."

"No it didn't. I heard you."

"I'm sorry."

"You will be."

He was dragged out of the hallway, screaming. What were they gonna do to him? Kill him? Torture him? Whatever it is, it probably won't be good.

Anyhoo, I looked towards Joker, who smiled at me, and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"We're moving?" I asked.

"Yeah."

He went on about something, but I didn't pay attention due to being focused on the flashes that were back!  It must of shown like twenty five images before I lost it. I felt the box still in my grip, and dropped them. The pain had gotten twice as bad as the last time, and raising my hands to my head, I wanted to scream. I leaned against the wall, and shook my head in attempt to shake the images away. When that chick did the electrocution thing to me, it made the images less visible. Like, um... They were more fuzzy, and kind of transparent, then they were before. Is that the right word? I'm bad at describing things. Its- it's ridiculous that's what it is! Oh forget it! Never mind.

I all of a sudden couldn't hear anything, and I started freaking out. I started running out of breath. As I attempted to take a deep breath, I found out that that was only making it worse! I thought it was over for me, until everything came back. I was back in the house. I was sitting on the floor, and Joker was kneeling beside me.

I gasped for air, as I looked around. Okay, okay. I'm good. All is fine. All is good.

"Are you alright?" He asked staring at me.

"Yeah...I almost died, but I'm fine thanks."

"Alright!"

I got up, and looked down at the box. Some things had fallen out of it, so I carefully put them back, and picked the whole thing up.

"Where do these go?" I asked, shaking the box.

"Wait!" He yelled. "Don't shake it!"

"Why?"

"Some of the things are glass."

A smile slowly spread across my face, as I slightly shook it again. He gave me a look, and I held in a laugh. Staring at him, I slowly began to shake the box again.

"Don't." He ordered.

He was more serious this time, but who cares?! For some reason I thought it was funny.  We stood there, eyes locked, and I felt myself shake the box one last time before he snapped. Grabbing the box out of my hands, he placed it on a nearby table, and grabbed my throat. I froze, not expecting him to do that.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked.

Many many things, my friend. You have no clue! I have a person in my head, and I just went and killed a few people last week. So that's what's wrong with me.

"You wanna know what's wrong with me?" I snapped back, making him keep quiet.

There was a long pause, before he broke it.

"Well, I'm waiting...go ahead."

"You- you don't know anything about me, okay? You don't know what I've gone through." I informed.

"I think I do-"

"Well I think you don't. In fact, I know you don't. Unless you can get all up in my head, and hear what's going on up there, you have no idea."

"Keep going," He said.

I gave him a look before I continued. What the hell am I getting myself into? I wanted to keep quiet, but my mouth was going before I could do anything.

"My whole life has been torture. I have done things. Things that I wish I can take back, but I can't! It wasn't even my fault! I'm- I'm not like you!... I'm not a crazy psychopath who kills just for the fun of it! We are not the same- not even close! And do you know how many people have told me that I am? My-my father, my teachers, the idiots at the asylum! You don't get to look down on me like I'm the one with issues here, alright. Yeah, I have my problems, but I'm not as bad as you.  Do you see things that you don't want to see? I don't think so. Do you have a person in your head that you can't control? Don't- don't answer that. I don't want to know the answer to that. The point is, there are things about me that you don't know, so you can't judge- you can't! Not when you have issues of your own."

Me and my damn mouth. Yup I'm gonna get it for that one. I'm gonna get it for that one. He is gonna burst, and i am going to get it. Not good. No no no no no no no! Oops. Run! Abandon ship! Go go go! Why am I not moving?! My feet are stuck. Why can't I move? I am trying to move, but I can't. This is ridiculous. I was just so done with people treating me like I have a mental illness or something. Me and my big mouth!

I'm confused. He just stood there staring at me! I'm scared. Am I though? Not really. Am I though? I don't know. Should I be? I think so. Should I though? Probably...

It was silent. He just stood there. My heart was beating so fast! I have never felt like that before. It's weird. But at the same time, I was waiting for him to do something. It was like, I've been through so much in my life, of you're gonna do something, just do it already! I mean come on! Standing here isn't gonna do much. But please don't do anything, because I will be terrified...will I though?

"Are you done?" He asked.

"Yeah," I replied, sighing in relief.

That was it? That's all? Okay good, for a second there, i thought he was gonna- all of a sudden he grabbed my hair, and dragged me down the hall. Yup, there it is! Let's see what happens now. Can't wait....woo...hoo... -_-