Demons without Desire

You'll find yourself.

I sat at the kitchen island as Zak flitted around the kitchen effortlessly making dinner for us. Every so often he'd spare a glance towards me to make sure I was still sat there before giving me a quick smile and continuing on. The excitement at the fact I was eating again had caused him to cook chicken tacos.

"Nearly done." He hummed.

I nodded my head grabbing the plates and drinks for us. Putting them on the island I stopped feeling a sensation over my body. I couldn't describe how it felt was it was enough for me to stop and take notice, which is what it wanted.

"Kaylee?" Zak asked as I looked at the space beside me.

"I- I think someone is there." I pointed to the space beside me and turned to Zak.

"How do you know?"

I swallowed looking beside me "Because I don't feel too good."

He left the food and moved me away slightly before holding his hands up to the space,

"Definitely a cold spot.."

That was enough for me to back up and hold the rosary beads in my hand.
I closed my eye and fell to my knees before repeating the verses the priest had told me at the church.

I didn't want anything touching me right now, I wanted to be protected. By the time I had finished Zak was looking at me concerned.

"You okay?"

"Yeah just had to make sure... You know?" I asked making him nod.

"It's gone whatever it was, try not to worry though." He whispered brushing my hair back and kissing my forehead. I wanted him to stay by my side a little longer, his presence beside me was calming despite his lifestyle. I help back my whine when he moved away but kept close just incase something was trying anything with me.

I feel the blood pump in my hand from how tight I had been squeezing the beads. It was only when we were due to eat our food I realised I still had them wound around my hand and gently let go of them hoping I hadn't snapped the chain with anxiety.

I found myself watching Zak as he ate, wondering how he kept his shit together with all this. Maybe he was used to it? Then his handsomeness took over and I forgot what I was suppose to be doing all together.

"You're making me a little paranoid." He spoke causing me to jolt slightly in my seat. I lowered my head embarrassed that he had caught my staring.

"What are you looking at?" He inquired looking at me.

"You..." I left my dinner to hold his face taking in the details of it carefully, my eyes mapped in the perfectly groomed eyebrows, the stubble on his chin and the moustache, the strong jawline and nose. The crows feet exposing his age more than what he would have wanted before my fingers traced his hairline from his forehead to down around his ears where I gave them a gentle tug. I lifted my finger up and ran it over his soft lips making my eyebrows pull slightly at the softness of them.

My eyes went back up to his taking in the swimming pool of colours, of grey, green, blue, and a hint of brown.

"How are you so handsome and what an earth are you doing with me?" I whispered.

"I'm just me.. As I've always been. And as for what I'm doing with you? I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.." He replied softly making my breath catch.

This overwhelming force possessed my body before my brain could register what was happening, I had lunged for Zak and was now kissing him as if my life depended on it. I bit his lip hard causing him to growl and nip mine back causing my mouth to open. Our tongues met and danced as my body pushed itself into his arms. His arms encased my body to his as he pushed back the stool enough for me to get between him as the island. I felt his arms tighten, his body rise and then heard the contents of dinner hit the floor as I was put on the island with Zak between my legs. One hand held my hip and the other was buried in the thick of my hair, with my head tilted back, he left my lips and continued onto my jawline and down around to my ear.

"I know we can't... But I wish we could right now." He whispered before placing a hot kiss on my neck. His tongue darted out onto my neck causing my hands to tighten on his shirt.

A moan resonated out of me as he blew cold air into the small patch of my neck. He bit down hard and squeezed his hand on my hip hard making my moan double in size and echo off his kitchen. I couldn't fix my breathing whilst he latched onto my neck, Zak must had sensed my lack of air and pulled away to check on me.

I found my lungs again gasping at the air around me, grabbing my face he placed our foreheads together and swallowed hard.

"Please..." He whispered, his breath fanned my lips making them part.

I wish I could, but right now my body was in no way shape or form ready to play neither was my mind right now.

"I- I can't.."

"No. Not that."

"Then what?" I questioned.

"Please don't be offended when I have to leave you here.." He whispered.

My face flushed cold, my hands tightened on his shirt and suddenly the air seemed to disappear on me.

"W-where?"

"For a cold shower.."

I bit my lip  causing his thumb to pull it out of my teeth "Don't."

"Sorry." I whispered rubbing my nose against his.

"Kaylee.."

"Yes?"

"I'm going for the shower right now. Before anything else happens and I can't stop myself." He answered.

"You wouldn't hurt me..." I mumbled hoping that to be true.

"You're right. I wouldn't but I am really really hot and bothered." His fingers worked between mine to release his top.

"And you said that the girl still wasn't in that body of yours.. Sheila is still in there. I can feel her.."

I rolled my eyes "I really wish you'd stop calling me that."

"Never."

His lips took mine and gave me a small growl before he pulled away and left me on the kitchen side with messy hair and our dinner on the floor.

"Woah.." I whispered touching my swollen lips from the hard kissing.

I guess she was still in there somewhere.