Demons without Desire

Who he really is..

I waited for his call later that day but it never arrived, figuring Dan was probably giving them a hard time about time limits and budget costs I didn't try to ring him in case they were filming. Zak would ring me.. He promised.

However the night fell and I was still waiting for the call, Gracie had resorted to curling up beside me and going to sleep as I was determined to speak to him before bed.

The next morning I woke up on the couch with a bad neck and back from waiting up all night. I grabbed my phone instantly and saw no missed calls or messages.

He's probably mad at you over the stunt of going to that museum..

I said it was a pretty stupid idea.

No you didn't.

SHUT UP!

I grabbed the beads hard to stop the inner argument within me and vowed to have my phone with me at all times today. I didn't want to miss his call...

I waited all day for the call that never arrived, eventually I bit and tried to ring him but received nothing. I tossed my phone on the couch and fell into it wondering what he was doing. I didn't mean to upset him this much over a damn parcel. Next time I'll put it outside or in the garage..

The garage would have been a better place but I wanted it away from me and the house. I recoiled a shiver from the image of that black figure and reminded myself to tell Zak before he went back in there.

I sifted through the mail Cece had dropped off yesterday and found I had a padded envelope. Rolling my eyes I figured it was Zak again and tore it open.

Oh it was Zak again alright..

He had the footage edited of the museum lockdown.

"What the hell is he playing at?" I asked myself as I picked up two DVD's, one saying approved and another saying Uncut.

I could guarantee the uncut version was of my full possession. I wanted to know.. I wanted to see it all but a part of me didn't want to rake over the past or see the state I was in when I found it acceptable to bite down on the person I loved.

I stood under the TV and looked at the disc before I put it into the DVD player and sat down. To understand everything of what happened that day, I had to watch it.. I just had to.

30 minutes later....

Tears were streaming down my face as I watched myself on camera. It was hard to watch but necessary as I hummed on screen making my way down the basement. It cut to Zak and Aaron in the room, footage I hadn't seen or been told of. They were struggling to get out with Zak trying everything to push the desk out from behind the door. The pained look on his face and the desperation on his voice to get out and get to me had me blubbing all over again.

I pulled his hoody around my body tighter as they got out and got to me. Watching it all unfold I saw my teeth go down on his arm and him cry out in pain. I covered my mouth as warm tears fell.

I was a monster that night. It showed how they restrained me and how they had to carry me out the museum kicking and screaming.

It was no wonder he was mad at me being there alone. After witnessing that I would have never gone there..

Then it showed myself on the front lawn, crying and begging for them not to hurt me before I passed out. The screen went black and Zak appeared in a dark room as he explained the situation and aftermath of the lockdown. He looked upset, tired and also supported the bandaid on his arm from my bite.

He explained the dangers of investigating, trusting the unknown and using protection. He then also explained the journey I was going to struggle in the future. How after 2 lockdowns and two attachments I would sense and feel things like no other because of the level of possession each of them has had on me at the time.

I was lucky to have someone who knew what they were doing in my corner.. Because I was clearly out of my depth in those moments. I was lost.

Blowing my already red nose into a tissue I hugged Gracie who simply sighed. "I'm such a bitch to him as well." I sobbed.

Here I was getting mad to think he had meddled in my work again but after that it showed his level of care and involvement. It was clear I couldn't do this alone anymore. I needed people with me if I wanted to continue investigating.

Figuring I owed him something I went into the garden and meditated like he recommended I did whilst he was away. After that I decided to I would make him dinner when he got home. Something special..

I turned off the DVD and put it back in its case before setting it aside, I should have probably watched it with him but curiosity kills the cat as they say.

I owned Zak a lot... From helping me with an incubus to giving me a home and ridding me of a demonic possession. It felt like he wasn't a man, boyfriend or partner.. No. He was my everything and a guardian angel in disguise.