Demons without Desire

We found love, in a hopeless place.

I had cleared away dinner and tidied up, whilst Zak showered to cool down. Folding up a hand towel and placing it on the side reminiscing when I looked up at the window, seeing myself in the reflection.

I sighed, so much has happened, my mind felt a million miles away from the feisty brunette that threw water in Zak's face after he spoke to me rudely over a lockdown. I had no idea who he was, just that he was a complete toad and had stolen my location.

I never thought I'd be where I am now. I never imagined that after Eric I'd trust a man again, that didn't mean I was going to jump ship and become a lesbian or become a crazy cat lady. But some how the peculiar man had snuck into my heart and left small traps. Now I was in love and wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment with him, also sleep beside him. I needed him an arms length away, that way I know I would be okay.

I would be okay. I'm with him, in his house and presence. I am o-

My heart stopped in my chest as I let out a scream when a hand touched me. I spun swinging my fist only to be pulled against Zak's bare chest.

"It's me! Kaylee it's me!" He spoke grabbing my hand and face to looking at me in the eyes.

A shaky breath left my body as I looked at him "You scared me." I whispered.

"Sorry, I thought you heard me... I was talking to you about w- it doesn't matter now." He frowned.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as he brushed my hair back.

"Let's get you into bed." He whispered guiding me out the kitchen. I padded down the hall to his bedroom to hear the shower still going.

I froze and slowly turned my eyes to Zak who was stood in shorts. "Kayl-"

"You're not you.." I whispered.

"Don't be silly, I've jus-"

"It's not you!" I yelled grabbing the rosary beads. "You can't take me or hurt me! You stay away!"

"Kaylee it's me!"

"LIAR!"

"I'm not l- fuck!" He shouted spinning his head until it stopped seeing what he wanted.

I watched as he grabbed the beads and pulled them over his neck and lifted his hands out. "See. It's me! I'm me, sweetie come on.." He urged as I kept away from him.

"The shower."

"I left it running for you? I didn't realise a small gesture would set you off.. I found it cold in there so used the steam to warm it up whilst you undressed, I don't want you getting sick." He explained.

"Tell me something only we'd know.. Recent."

"I love you and that I called you a mouse?" He suggested.

My body sagged and I covered my face in embarrassment. I'd tried to attack him and now I had called him a liar.

"I- when is this going to stop?" I asked myself.

"It's still early days. You know it's me right?" Zak questioned making me nod.

I kept my head low and went into the bathroom. Locking the door I let out a few tears before getting in and cleaning my body.