Seven Wings of the Damned (BTS)

Five- I'm Sorry

(Taehyung's POV)

I shot up gasping. The sensation of falling was no longer present as I pulled myself from my dream. His image was scorched into my brain. The look of disappointment and hatred in his eyes haunted my very being day and night. My body shivered from cold sweats and fear. I panted quickly and desperately, trying to regain my air.

It took me a minute or more of gasping before I finally regained control of myself once again. I held my head in agony from the overwhelming headache I was suffering. I looked up with my watery eyes to see Jimin still fast asleep. He looked peaceful and gentle in his sumber. It was such a transition from his normal behavior.

I decided to get up for a drink yet again. I languidly forced my trembling body out of bed. I pulled off my damp shirt and boxers and changed into a dry pair of sweats before making my way quietly to the kitchen. The apartment was so silent now. It was almost eerie. It reflected the loneliness that was buried deep inside of me. That flowed through my veins in an endless cycle.

I reached the kitchen and searched for the leftover alcohol from the day. I was successful in finding a bottle of whiskey beneath the cabinet. I looked at the umber color of it. I got lost in it. A sparkling sea of escape trapped in a small bottle serving to my every want and need. It called out to me. It lured me to it. Tempted me to drink it. To get lost in its sea of mindlessness and forgetfulness. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and poured until the glass was full. After closing the bottle and putting it back where I found it, I wrapped my fingers around the glass. It was cool. Soothing to my feverish state.

I walked with the glass to Namjoon and Jin's room. I opened the door quietly and spied inside. Namjoon was still gone. Probably fast asleep with Yuma by now. I looked to Jin's bed. His was empty too. I furrowed my brow at the sight. Then, my mind wandered to a thought. I closed the door and walked to the balcony doors. I peaked out. There he was, lying peacefully on the outside sofa. He gazed up at the stars with a look in his eyes. It was a sad look. A lost look. I opened the door quietly and walked to him.

His head turned and his beautiful eyes fell upon me. "What are you still doing up?" His voice was soft and gentle.

"Nightmare," I admitted. "You?"

"I can't sleep." He sighed and sat up. His eyes fell to my hand where I held the glass of whiskey. "You shouldn't drink that in your state. You're going to upset your stomach," he explained. Then he stood. "Here. Lie down. I'll go make you a cup of tea."

He took the glass from my hand and disappeared. I followed his orders and lied down on the sofa waiting for his return. The stars were so visible tonight. The sky was clear and peaceful. It made my mood lighter. It put me at ease.

Jin returned with two cups of hot tea and sat down. I sat up and moved closer to him. His figure looked so frail under the dim light. He looked feeble and loving. His image portrayed him perfectly. He was an angel always. With or without wings.

He looked at me. "Are you alright?" he asked.

It took me a second to come back from my thoughts, but I heard him. "Yes, I'm fine." I took the cup he held out for me. "Thank you, Jin."

"It's no problem, really," he spoke humbly.

It was what I loved most about him. My precious Jin, always so quick to relinquish his pride. I smiled at him.

I watched the apples of his cheeks turn bright red. "You look so exhausted, Taehyung. What is it that's bothering you?"

I leaned onto his shoulder. "Nothing. I promise."

I laughed gently thinking back on a memory. "Do you remember when we were children, the cat always used to terrorize you?"

"Which one?"

We both laughed.

"I forgot cats never really did like you for some reason, did they?"

"No, they most certainly did not." He leaned back onto the sofa.

"It was Ruby that I remember."

"Oh god," he chuckled. "That cat can't even be put into the category of cats that hated me. I'm convinced that cat was possessed by a demon."

"Well, that was mainly because I antagonized her into going after you," I joked.

"I wouldn't doubt it," he teased.

I sipped at my tea. It was refreshing and comforting. It settled well in my stomach. I always enjoyed when Jin made tea or made sweets. They were definitely his specialty. And they were unique to him indeed. No one could match his cooking.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Anything for you."

There was a brief silence before Jin spoke again. "Tae?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever miss it?" he asked.

"Miss what exactly?"

"Your wings. Being up there. Being happy..."

"Yea. I miss it. But, just because I miss it doesn't mean I'm not happy. I am happy here. I'm happy with the family I have now and the life we all live together."

"Me too."

I finished up my tea and lied down. Jin put the last bit of his down and joined me. I enveloped him comfortably in my arms. He was warm and he smelled good.

"You're like a personal heater," I spoke softly to him.

I felt him move against me as he laughed slightly. "I don't know how you're so cold all the time. It's actually pretty warm tonight."

"Well, let's at least pretend it's cold so I have an excuse to hold onto you longer."

He was silent. I could tell he was definitely blushing. I lifted up to see the small smile he was trying to hide. It was such a precious sight. The fact that I could make him smile like that even after what I had done relieved such a weight from my chest.

We continued to lie with one another. It was silent between us, but the silence didn't matter. I was with him and that was all that mattered.

I thought back to that day. My chest tightened just thinking about it. I hated myself for it. For letting such a thing happen. To Jin especially.

I could've protected him. I could've saved him. But, I didn't. I didn't fight hard enough. And now he's here bearing this weight of his own. Clueless as to what it was he did. Believing he'd done the worst. I should've told him a long time ago. Yet, I hadn't brought myself to do it. And now it was too late. If I told anyone I knew everything, they'd all hate me for keeping it secret so long. So, I had to punish myself by continuing to deal with my own sins. Knowing I was secretly somewhat of an enemy to my family. Living with the fact that I was secretly hurting all of them. Even Jin.

A single tear escaped my eye. "I'm sorry," I whispered to him.

"Mm, for what?" he moaned tiredly.

My heart caught in my chest. I hadn't realized he was still awake. "Uh... n-nothing. Nevermind." I spoke quietly.

When he didn't respond, I sighed out with relief. I'm sorry I can't tell you. That I didn't tell you before. I hugged him tighter but made sure not to wake him.

Carefully, I got up without waking Jin. I went to the sliding door and opened it, then opened his bedroom door. I made my way back to where he was fast asleep and lifted him tenderly into my arms. He remained asleep through the entire process and after I had laid him down and closed the doors, I joined him in his bed.

He looked even more harmless when he slept. I almost didn't believe it was possible for him, but he never ceased to surprise me. I wrapped my arm around him and accomplished falling back to sleep.