Seven Wings of the Damned (BTS)

Thirty Nine- Looking For Love

"For the next few weeks, this training room will be your life. Learning these weapons will be your job. Becoming one with them will be your goal," Nadine explained as she led us along through the very busy room filled with weapons and training mats. "Your objective is not only to prevent injury on yourself, but to take down the enemy with any means necessary. Even if that means taking a blade to their throat and following through with the cut. War is merciless and we must prepare you for that. Though I must say," she turned to face us all. "No matter how much we prepare you, being out there in battle, watching people die around you, nothing can fully prepare you for that. Not even living through it once. So, I do not say this out of suggestion, but out of command and for the safety of the rest of the soldiers, if you're too soft to handle this, then be a help elsewhere and not on the battlefield."

I saw her glance at me. "Mm," I rolled my eyes and turned my head to the side.

I felt her coming closer to me. And then her warm breath was on my ear. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you?" She was so amused. She was so pleased by the way she taunted me. Her amusement teased me.

"So, who here already has some fighting experience?"

Taehyung, Jimin and Namjoon raised their hands. Oh, great. Who does that leave me with?

"That's great. Arian and Roan will supervise you. You three can teach your partners some combat basics while I work with him."

They all nodded and went to work teasingly waving bye to me as they walked off to weapons racks. Well, this is going to be a long day.

(Namjoon's POV)

__Saturday, May 15 2010__ 

It had been a month since that incident. I couldn't live with myself after that. It left a scar too deep to be numb to. Every day felt empty. Every day made me feel sick.

We killed someone. Killed him. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of this hole I'd dug around myself. I had to escape it all. Including Jimin.

I knew exactly where to go. I hadn't spoken to him since we arrived here. Like an asshole, I blew him off and wanted nothing to do with him. I left him behind for the thrill of a little trouble. And now, I was crawling back at his feet to escape it all.

It took me almost a month to find him again. I was lucky he still lived in the city. And I was blessed enough to have someone who was capable of finding him for me.

I read over the address on the paper one more time before I looked up at the apartment door. I took a deep breath and brought my shaky hand up to the door. I froze there. Why would he want to see me? After I just left him all alone like this. After I ditched him like there was never anything between us. After I looked him in the eye and told him it was his fault we were banned from our home.

I lowered my hand. I shouldn't burden him with it. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to have to ache over me or worry about me and what I've gotten myself into. By now, he's probably moved on and healed. And I was selfishly going to reopen the wound.

I leaned my head against the door and sighed. I needed him. I needed him now more than ever. But, I burned the bridges like a fool.

Suddenly, the door opened and I stumbled forward. I caught myself on the door frame before my feet slid out from beneath me and I fell to the floor. "Oomph."