Finding the Missing Piece: Book 6

Chapter One-Hundred

Peeta POV-

I walk into the house and I close the front door, leaning up against it.

My heart is aching worse than it ever has before and I feel like I've failed.

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face or beaten.

Nothing made me happier than her and nothing makes me sadder than her, right in this moment.

Why did I let her go?

I slide down the door and I sob, holding my hand over my mouth-hoping to stay quiet so that Willow or Mrs. Everdeen don't hear me. 

I bury my head into my arms and I just let it all out.

Everything that I've worked for the last 10 years is gone but the wonderful gifts she gave me.

My whole world just left me and she left me with our house and our children-she's not even gonna be here anymore to enjoy everything that we've worked so hard for.

She's not gonna get to enjoy our babies-to see them grow up and to grow old with me.

All the pain and suffering we went through to get here and she won't get to have any of it because I let her go when she was most vulnerable.

But I just want her to be happy and I didn't want to trap her here where she feels like she doesn't belong.

What am I going to do now?

I feel empty.

Completely empty and she's only been gone few minutes.

That's when it hits me harder than I ever imagined it would.

I never thought this moment would come and I prayed it wouldn't but I knew it would be hard but I never imagined it would be this painful.

My heart hurts and my stomach hurts too, so bad and my head is spinning and pounding like a drum.

My world feels like it's burning around me and I feel lost.

How am I going to make things work as a single dad?

How am I gonna do everything that Katniss did for them?

How am I going to be their mother and their father?

Willow isn't gonna have a mother just like Katniss didn't, especially when she needed it most and Rye won't have one either, something I wanted my son so badly to have.

A mother-something I promised myself my children would always have.

Something Katniss and I promised each other that our kids would have.

A mother and a father because we both missed out.

And now it's just me.

I just wish I could've found the stupid picture that Prim was talking about but she looked at everything.

Everything here and everything at the bakery and unless she was lying, she didn't find anything.

I don't think she was lying about not seeing anything in the pictures though-she seemed so determined to find it until she lost all hope and I did too.

How could I have let us lose hope?

That's always something that we've tried to keep burning in each other's hearts-hope.

I just wish I could've found the picture if that was our key to helping her.

I just have no earthly idea what it could've been.