No week would have been as unpleasant as the week that followed. It was empty, cold, quiet. Everyone kept to themselves in their dorms all day. The Academy had cancelled all the classes. Nothing was there to look forward to anymore.
The funeral was held in the Ellis estate, which Fayth couldn't–wouldn't attend. Instead, she sat alone in the piano room, hugging her legs, staring out of the window. She barely sleeps. Never eats. She was sick, she knew she was, but moving meant feeling and she didn't want to feel. She wanted to stay so still that she wouldn't feel.
Snow was all there was outside. White, cold, and gray skies. She never hated this type of weather more. She'll never hate it coming every year more.
And even though she knew little of what was going on behind the doors of the piano room, she could feel the emptiness Anthony left behind. No more jokes were told. No more pranks were pulled. No one crashed through the doors with a big grin and hugged Fayth like she mattered. Like, for once in her life, she mattered.
Fayth didn't think. She decided not to believe. To not ponder. It was much better this way. Whether what happened did or did not, it was much better to be stronger than life and to not think. To disappear into thoughts of nothing. To believe in nothing. To avoid reality. To not see anyone that might make her face reality. It was a much, much better world she lived in.
If it wasn't for that, she would have become completely mental with the non-physical, psychological pain.
A knock came from the door, but she barely heard it.
Jessie walked into the room. She sat there on the bench, her back to him, her legs pulled up and her arms wrapped tightly around them as she stared out of the window.
Her body was completely still.
He walked towards her, slowly. He wanted to treat her as if she was fragile, which she was. He didn't know what more he can do to relieve her from the state she was in.
When he reached the bench, he peeked around and looked at her face. His heart wrenched at the sight of it. It looked so distraught. A face that wouldn't be categorized in the least way as healthy. She was as pale as a ghost, her eyes hallow with the dark circles around them no longer an imprint from the eyeliner she usually wore.
His heart beat with pain for her. He wanted to comfort her in his arms, but knew better than to touch her. The last time he'd done it, he saw a part of her that scared him.
"Rihanna?"
No answer.
"Rihanna, you need to eat."
No answer.
"This isn't healthy, sweetheart. You need to move. School is starting again next Monday."
No answer.
"We're all mourning, but eating is essential. You and Lexis, what you're doing isn't going to help. No matter how devastating the loss is, you still need to overcome it."
No answer.
He sighed and put the tray of food on top of the piano for her. He was aware of the relationship between Anthony and Fayth, but it seemed like he underestimated it. It was much deeper... so much deeper than what he knew about.
"I think God is getting back at me..." Fayth croaked, her voice raw.
They were the first words she had said all week.
"It's all my fault. All of it."
"What?" Jessie asked.
She looked over at him. "Did anyone find Lexis yet?"
YOU ARE READING
F.A.I.T.H.
Romance"I was broken. Nothing, no one could fix me. Until you came into my life again. I wish I had gone with you that day instead of him. Because, now I can't imagine how I spent the previous years of my life without you by my side. You are my savior. You...
