Left Behind

Black Dress

Day of the funeral- April 14-

Jessica stayed with Ann and the kids. Ann sat in her room and didn't leave. Jessica took care of the kids, who were also a mess. Everyone was, nothing was the same for them. The energy in the house was depressing.

The day of the funeral Jessica got the kids ready then began getting Ann ready.

Jessica slowly walked into Ann's room. She had the sheets on the floor with pillows, the bed was empty. The floor was covered with pictures, tissues, and blankets.

"Ann?" Jessica says knocking on the door.

Ann slowly sits up blows her nose.

Her face was beat red, her eyes were swollen and puffy, her hair was in a messy bun, and she was dressed in Jimmy's large t-shirt and boxers.

Ann sat up and rubbed her face. Jessica walked over to her hugged her.

"I never thought I would have to go to my husbands funeral. Not now." She says in a cracky voice.

"I'm so sorry Ann."

"I can't go through this again. I'm not strong enough."

"You are honey. You are strong. It's hard, I know. But you can get through this. You have three beautiful children that love you, you have your family, you have me."

"Thank you..." She throws herself onto Jessica and sobs.

Jessica helps her get ready. Ann takes a shower for the first time in days. Jessica cleans up her room and sets out her outfit for the funeral.

"Ann you should eat." Jessica says handing her a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast on it.

Ann shook her head. "I can't."

Jessica nodded and set it down on her bedside.

Ann slid into her black dress and sat at her vanity. She looked at her reflection and gazed over at her wedding picture. With her finger tip she traced Jimmy's smile.

"He had a beautiful smile. I would do anything to see that smile again." Her lip quivers.

Jessica stood behind her and began brushing her hair. She turned on the blow dryer and began doing her hair.

She put light curls in her hair.

Jessica then started applying makeup. She put a small layer of foundation on then moved to the eyes and cheeks.

"The kids..." Ann says

Jessica looked at her through the mirror.

"They are dressed. Kali is napping."

"I haven't been there for them. I've been isolated in my room. I'm such a horrible person , I should be there."

"They know you are hurting. It's okay."

"They're hurting too. They lost their father. I know how they feel. Losing a dad, I never wanted them to go through that pain. And now I know how mom felt."

Jessica put her hands on Ann's shoulders and rested her chin on the top of her head.

"I miss you Jessica. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come."

Jessica nods and backs away.

"Are you ready?"

"No... I don't want to be."

Jessica helped Ann up. Her body was weak and emotionally drained. Her tears had taken away her strength.

As Jessica slowly opened the door to exit Ann's bedroom Ann paused and took a deep breath.

As she walked down the stairs she saw the kids sitting on the couch reading. A small smile appeared on her face seeing her children.

Ann let go of Jessica's hand and walked towards her children.

She sat in between them on the couch and wrapped her hands around them. Paige and Quinn rested their heads on their mother and softly cried.

Jessica went upstairs and got the baby.

Kali was smiling at giggling.

"Hey little Kali... today isn't going to be a good day. And you must know because you are just trying really hard to get me to smile. Huh?" Jessica says

Jessica let's out a sigh and begins to cry herself.

Wearing a black dress again reminded her too much of her fathers funeral. The emotions and energy that surrounded her just brought back too many dark memories that never seemed to erase from her mind.

The black dress Jessica was wearing was the same dress she wore to her fathers funeral.

Jessica ran her hands down the dress feeling the material. She closed her eyes.

Kali started giggling again and Jessica opened them again.

**

They drove to the church. All of the family was there. The kids didn't leave Jessica's side. They didn't want to hear the "I'm so sorry" any longer.

As they sat down Paige looked at Jessica.

"I hate hearing I'm sorry. They are apologizing because they have something I don't have anymore."

Jessica wrapped her arm around Paige and held her.

"They are just trying to be nice. Sometimes people are speechless and it's all they can say."

They funeral began. Dorthy, George, Jane, and her husband sat behind Jessica and the kids. Ann sat next to Jessica. Jimmy's family was also there.

The sniffles from everyone in the church echoed.

Ann held Jessica's hand and set her head down.

The kids constantly looked back at their mother who couldn't help but sob.

Jimmy's close family and best friend went up to say some things about him. Ann couldn't, she wasn't able to.

All good things were said about Jimmy. It brought smiles, reminding everyone that he was a good man and doesn't deserve to be in pain anymore. That he will watch over his most cherished people, his family.

After the funeral Jessica took Ann and the kids home. They didn't want to be there anymore. They appreciated everyone that came and supported them, but it was just too overwhelming.

**

Later that night Jessica finally was able to change out of her black dress. Ann and the kids were asleep and Jessica was exhausted.  

She looked at herself in the mirror and closed her eyes once more. A clear image of her looking at herself in the mirror the day of her fathers funeral. She hoped she would never have to wear that black dress again.

**