Left Behind

Not Home

January-

Jessica was in the living room curled up in a blanket watching tv. Over the last few weeks Jessica was taking small steps. One being staying out of bed during the day.

After the holidays things calmed down. But of course, things were still not 'normal' and had 'calmed down' for her. She was still the same ever since losing Danny. Some days she'd feel like she was making progress, but really she wasn't. Dorthy and her family were still heavily concerned for Jessica, but she pushed them away whenever they tried to help her. She just wanted to take things and do everything at her own pace.

She had been through a devastating loss before. Maybe her way of grieving wasn't ideal, but she wanted to do things her way like last time. Her way was being alone.

As weeks went by Jessica had been missing lots of work. She had someone filling in for her, but once and a while co-workers would email her letting her know what's going on. Most of the time it wasn't doing well. Her department wasn't at its best now that she isn't there.

Jessica was very tempted to go back to New York. She really wanted to leave Minnesota. But, her leaving would cause some conflict. Her mother wouldn't want her to. Every time she brought it up Dorthy's attitude had changed.

Dorthy didn't want Jessica away. When Albert died she ran off and didn't come home for months. That time Jessica was gone was hardest for her because she worried for her so much. Her reasoning may be selfish, but she couldn't handle thinking about Jessica being alone at a time like this.

While Jessica was cuddle up in the blanket Dorthy had let herself in. Jessica became irritated when her mother just walked in on her, not bothering to knock. Everyone did it. She hated it. But Jessica couldn't say anything to her mother. She came with loads of groceries. She hoped that maybe Jessica would eat.

"Hello, darling. I have all your favorites. Chicken, pasta salad, oranges, Cheerios, oh and I snuck in some chips for you." She says placing the bags on the counter.

Jessica follows her into the kitchen and sits on the island chair, watching her mother.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to."

"I did... everything is empty in here." Dorthy says opening the empty fridge

Jessica sighs

Over the last few days she had been contemplating going back to New York. It had been on her mind. In Jessica's eyes New York was Home. Jessica wanted to go home and enjoy her own solitude away from all the craziness in Minnesota. Before Jessica left she'd have to face her mother. That would be the hardest.

Dorthy noticed Jessica pondering. She stopped what she was doing and walked over to her.

"What's on your mind?" Dorthy asks

Jessica looks at her mother then begins to twiddle her thumbs.

"I'm planning on going back to New York..."

Dorthy sets everything down and stares into her daughters eyes.

"When?"

"Before the month is over..."

"That soon?" She widens her eyes and quickly becomes concerned.

"Yes, That soon. I think it will be good for me to go back home. I need to. Maybe work will get my mind off everything."

"Don't be silly. You need to be home." She says shaking her head

"This isn't home..." She mumbles

"But Jessica, Minnesota is your home... your family is here-"

Jessica clenches her fist and becomes agitated.