Left Behind

Confirmation

"Let's confirm for sure if you are pregnant, Jessica." The doctor comes into the room with all of her equipment.

Jessica lays on the cold table. She was so tired from the lack of sleep she had been getting. Her body was stiff and she could barely move or think properly. Her mother, Dorthy, stood by her side holding her hand. Jessica squeezed her mothers hand with fright.

It had been a week since Jessica took the pregnancy test... she was in complete denial. Even after ten positive test later. Today she was at the doctor to confirm her pregnancy. She knew she was, but she hoped maybe the doctor would tell her otherwise. Jessica didn't want to be pregnant. Not now, Not ever. After Dorthy had talked to Jessica on the phone a week ago she knew she had to tend to her daughter so she flew out as soon as possible. Jessica was falling apart minute by minute.

The mood had been set in the room. It wasn't good, and the doctor could sense it. She dialed down her excitement and kept to herself as she sat Jessica up and began to prep her for blood to be drawn.

Jessica held out her skinny arm as she put the needle in.

After getting the blood the doctor cleaned Jessica up.

"All done. We will have the results shortly. Any questions or concerns?" The doctor asks politely

Jessica clears her throat and looks at her doctor. "If..." she stops for a moment and chokes up...

"If I am pregnant" she says sternly "... will you be able to tell me if my baby is okay?." She says while on the verge of tears.

"Of course. I will run some test and examine you. Then, if you please we can get an ultrasound." She says happily

Jessica nods and the doctor excuses herself.

When the doctor is gone Jessica breaks down into tears and hugs her mother. Dorthy hurt so badly for her daughter. She was excited to think about a baby entering the family, but she hated that these were the circumstances. But it was becoming hard for Dorthy to be excited, knowing Jessica doesn't want anything to do with a child. She hoped she'd have change in heart. They just had to wait.

"Jessica, listen to me... it will all be okay. I'm here for you." Dorthy says looking into her swollen eyes

Jessica shakes her head continuously "No, nothing will be okay... Nothing is okay." Jessica turns her body and stands up holding her chest.

"Jess, if you are, pregnant, you need to relax so you don't hurt your baby..." Dorthy says

Then, Jessica thought back to her miscarriage. It haunted her everyday. And she still blamed herself. As much as she didn't want a baby, she didn't want to go through the loss of another. She calmed herself down.

A while later the doctor came back in. It was hard to read the doctors face. Jessica couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"We got both your urine and blood test back. It is in fact true, you are pregnant." The doctor says

Jessica sits there. She already knew, but she still felt shocked. She breaks down into tears and cries loudly. Dorthy holds her daughter and tries to sooth her. The doctor stood there, not exactly knowing how to react.

Jessica was so angry, for many reasons. She didn't want children. Even when Danny was alive. Now that he's gone she still doesn't want children. But, he left her with a child. Some would think it's a gift, but Jessica considers it a curse. Her life was going to change forever. No
matter what choice she makes from this moment forward. What hurt the most was that Danny wasn't here with her... it would be different if he was here. Maybe she'd be excited, possibly happy, or maybe, just maybe, she'd have a change of heart about children. Danny had wanted children so bad and Jessica never gave him any. She felt guilty because now that he was gone she was pregnant with his child that he had wanted since he was young.