Long ago...

CHAPTER:31- self confession

Phil's prov.

After Sarah left I stomped back up to my room and sat on my bed, face in my hands.
I can't belive her! Why does she always have to be so disobeying and make me hurt her!? Why can't she just listen and behave like she used to...that was the Sarah I loved, that was the Sarah I love!
I don't get why she can't see that, why can't she see how much I really care for her....it doesn't make any sense.
I'll admit it....when I left her at first when we were younger, it wasn't me being a bad person to her, but just that there was so much danger in my life at that point that I didn't want her to get involved....and when I was done I wanted to surprise her and I honestly was expecting her to come running up to me, ecstatic when she saw me....boy was I ever wrong.
She had moved on from me with that oaf Jack...what's so special about him!? Why him!?? I mean like, I know it has been alike 5 years since we last saw eachother so I should've known I guess. It's hard to comprehend sometimes...maybe if I had managed to succeed on my mission things would be different...maybe shed be more into me.....I would've succeeded with it if it wasn't for my stupid Grandfather. Why was she asking so many questions about him?? I hate talking about him, it brings up so many memories of what all he's done to people...whether they be friends, family, acquaintances or complete strangers, he has done more then his fair share of wreaking Havoc on people. I always wanted to stop him somehow, but never could.....he's a scary man and someone no-one wants to dare mess with.
Wonder if she was asking about my Uncle to find out somethings about his past crimes, or activities as he prefers to call it....but how could she know any of that, and why she want to be involved? Unless.....no...she couldnt know about her sister and my Uncle...no one knows but him her parents, me, and whomever rescued her...but we don't have her anymore, so maybe...I wonder if Martha ever did make it back to them? I hope so, I just wish I could've been the one to return Martha back to her family....damn family alliances getting in the way of my mission.
I may seem like a tough guys and corrupted by my uncle and his evil ways....but that's only half true, it's more of a instinctual protective barrier for myself.
I wish it was easier for me to let people in, to let them see the real me, the good me, not the 'me' I put out. I'm abit scared to do that though, I don't want to seem weak or vanurable...whatever though I guess, it's gonna have to happen one day won't it...

Jack's prov.

Before John came by I was just lying in my bed, thinking of some memories.
Memories of how we all met, before we met, after, about family, school, and thinking of what all may happen in the future.
I remember I never knew how, I guess I truly felt about Sarah, and never knew how protective I could actually be...I was never one to get into fights, physical fights at least, so not only did I shock everyone who knew me at the party, but also shocked myself, I never knew that I had all that In me.
I guess that just goes to show you, you never know what all someone's Capable of.
I can't wait to get out of this place though! I've been in here for longer then I think is nessasary.
Although....what I don't understand...is that this whole time I barely saw or heard Sarah... I thought that if she truely liked me then she would've been here more often.... I know I would be by her side everyday if the roles were reversed. Maybe she doesn't actually like me how I thought she did, and it was just all for show.
And what did Jhon overheard on the phone?? Why did he look panicked but tried to hide it from me?? What's wrong with Sarah?? Somethings going on and I need to know what.