when I woke up I immediately got on my phone. hundreds. millions of "hannie" tags and posts on Instagram. millions! I choked back tears. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. Hannie was mine and Hayden's ship name. It would be different if I knew how Haden felt, but I didn't. I had no clue. I had no clue if he even felt anything! There was millions of posts tagging me AND Hayden. I was completely embarrassed. I knew that hayden would know that I had no control or idea of this but it made me embarrassed because it made me look like a little child that never had boys hug me or never had any contact with boys my age. I didn't want Hayden to see any of this and be like "wow all I did was hug her" maybe I was over thinking but then again maybe I wasn't. My Brian was flooded with #hannie stuff. I was quiet the whole time we sat in the car on the way to the airport. Once we boarded the plane I adjusted my plane pillows and got on my phone. I got on Instagram and saw more and more posts of hannie. There was screenshots of the part of the vlog where Hayden picked me up and was hugging me. There was videos and clips and pics of me and Hayden. I was freaking out on the inside. I was fighting back tears of embarrassment. I decided to chill ax and act normal but then I saw this one picture. This one awful picture. It was of Kenzie and Hayden and it said "upgrade" and then it was a picture of me and Hayden and then it said "f*** go back" I didn't care until i saw where Kenzie liked it and jade. And Hayden. And Hayden. And Hayden. I replayed that in my head over and over again. I was so mad. I was so mad and hurt and sad. Mostly hurt. I was every emotion mixed into a bowl of confusion. I got up and went to the bathroom to cry before the plane took off. How could Hayden do that to me? Even if he didn't like me in that way we, were still friends. Or so I thought. Him liking that picture answered every question I had about him.
