Jumin x Jaehee Drabbles 2

Coping Mechanism

Jumin didn't mean to start such an unhealthy thing. He didn't want to bring Jaehee into this.. any of this. He didn't want her to become something that he desperately needed. Yet, He couldn't stop.

After V died, all he had was Jaehee. Yoosung and Zen don't know about what really happened. Seven and MC are dealing with Unknown. V is dead. Jaehee was the only one he had left. As his grief started to overwhelm him, he started needing Jaehee. Most of the time, it was only at night.

He started having nightmares. Nightmares of Jaehee leaving him forever; either through death or something else. It didn't matter how, he's always wake up with fear and anxiety taking his being over. He comcluded it was caused by V. It was easier when Jaehee spent the night at his house because then he could check on her or even stay in the room until he felt calm again. Though, sometimes she wasn't there and so he was left to make a decision. Call her or sit tight until morning so he could look at her and know she was still there.

The problem with Jaehee being his thing that calms him wasn't when she wasn't there. It was when she was. Jumin couldn't stop from dragging himself to her room in the middle of the night, staying in there until he felt he could go back to his own room and sleep. The most dangerous thoughts he had was 'maybe I could sleep here'. It was brief and could've been insignificant but it was something he dwelled on. The thought of sleeping in the same bed as her, possibly holding her if she'd let him, was enough to force a whimper from him. It was surprisingly a nice thought but was something he could never achieve.

It was dangerous. Jumin had found something that gave him calmness but it came at a price. The price was that he would need more of her each time. He felt as long as he did it, he stayed there for a few more minutes. He stayed to just watch the rhythmic way she breathed and found himself breathing in time with her. It was therapeutic to him.

He felt terrible, it felt like he was doing something morally wrong. It wasn't technically bad but it was similar to a stalker. He knew this and couldn't help but defend himself against his own logic. He never touched her or anything so it was okay. It was just to help him calm down and go back to sleep. He knows she's uncomfortable when he sees her in anything than what he usually sees her in but he likes her sleepwear. It was cute with pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt to complete her look.

He turned back to her desk, seeing all the papers she had. He sees she has finished everything and smiled softly. She always managed to satisfy him no matter what was at hand. He heard shifting from the bed and turned slightly to see if she was awake. If she were to wake, he'd be in trouble. He cursed internally, knowing he put his own self at stake.

"..Jumin?" Jaehee grumbled, her voice rough from the sleep. She squinted at him, trying to see through the darkness. "Is that you?"

He hesitated, not knowing if he had a choice to answer or not. "Yes," He said after a while. "I'm just checking on something. You may go back to sleep," He said. Jaehee blinked a few times, trying to get the tiredness out of her. Jumin didn't like that, seeing as it was in the late hours of night. She mumbled something unintelligible but Jumin assumed it was sleep talk.

"Jumin," She had a habit of calling him by first name when she was sleepy or tired. When her brain wasn't fully aware that she was to use 'Mr. Han'. He didn't mind, so he felt no need to correct her. Especially if he wants her to go back to sleep as fast as possible.

"Yes?"

"What do you-" She interrupted herself with a small yawn. "What do you want?"

"I told you. I needed to check something," He said simply. Trying to make her go back to sleep by trying to make the conversation end as fast as possible. "Go back to sleep. It's too early for either of us to be awake,"

"Do you want to sleep here then?" Her words pierced something inside of him even if they were slurred slightly with sleep. He wanted to badly. He wanted to be able to stay with her all night if he could but Jaehee wasn't asking when she was fully awake. She may not even be able to remember any of this. He looked back at her only to see she had somehow went back to sleep. He wasn't too disappointed, with that being what he wanted anyway.

"No, I don't want to sleep with you," He whispered, freezing at what he said. He could've chose the wording better but she was asleep already. He thanked God for that. He wanted to sleep in the same bed as her but not sleep with her. Once he starts having sexual thoughts of her, that's when he's going to stop this habit of his.

Hopefully... I can keep that promise...

A/N: I have a new job so it's harder to update daily. Sorry. Also low-key stalker Jumin came to me at some point and I'm not sure why so have this.