Jumin x Jaehee Drabbles 2

Regretful

Jumin was not an emotional man. Many people knew this and few have ever seen him legitimately smile. Even fewer had seen him cry and less had seen him scared. All of those emotions had been bottling up inside him over these past 11 days and yet only two members of the RFA could actually identify those emotions.

Jaehee once said to him that he had a habit of drinking a little more than usual when something was bothering him. This usually led to her trying to get him to tell her and attempting to console a man that tried to assure her everything was fine.

V had said that he could tell just by the look in his eyes and the change of tone in his voice.

Jumin had seen that both of them could tell by reasons the other had stated.

However, he was not next to anyone at the moment. Nobody was going to try to understand what was going on now. He had nearly nobody to turn to. Despite V's ever going forgiveness, Jumin was anxious that their fight had been enough to drive him away. That anxiety grew more within each hour and instead of settling it, Jumin drowned himself in another bottle, hoping to any god out there that if he had enough, he'd forget everything.

And then there's the Jaehee problem. Thinking about this made a headache appear. He rubbed his forehead as he thought back to it, the idea never willing itself away once it got going.

She was a fine woman and an even better assistant. Who knew that she'd be swept away by a random girl in their own secret organization. Jumin would've laughed if his own bitterness and pride wasn't in the way.

He knew for a fact that Jaehee would tell him to stop at this moment. She'd tell him that it's not good to drink at night and would take the glass away from him. She'd tell him to go to bed and tell him about one meeting or another even if it was just a lie to get him to comply to her wishes.

She was the first woman to care for his well being with the exception of his own real mother. She made sure he was okay physically before she would tend to his emotional needs, to both his dismay and relief.

He'd never admit it, but there was more than one night where he would openly cry with her being able to see. More than one night he'd tell her what was wrong, which would branch to another problem and would eventually go to one or more childhood trauma he endured and yet never let effect his work.

Jaehee knew his weaknesses. She knew everything about him. She could hurt him and abuse him and use the information she gained to ruin his name and yet, Jumin didn't seem to care. With that thought, any anxiety he should've felt with that vanished as he took another sip of alcohol.

Even if she decided to, he wouldn't care. He doesn't care. He's said that sentence many times when the words didn't match his meaning but it seems that he was serious this time. Question is: Why doesn't he care? She could hurt him but he doesn't care. No other past assistant knows what she knows but the thought of her using it didn't spike his anxiety more than the thoughts of everything else.

...

.........

...His thoughts deviated for a minute. A stray thought that muddled through the negative ones.

I miss her.

It was a simple, neutral thought but never one he had for an assistant. Assistants were easy to replace. She was no different.

That lie made some sort of emotion pierce his heart. He knew she was different. He knew all too well. She was able to do everything he asked, even if it seemed nearly impossible and-

A ring on his phone. Two. Three. He let it ring as he stared at it on the table until the final ring appeared. He picked it up and answered without looking at the I.D.

"You're still awake?"

That voice was one that he never thought he'd miss. All that talk of hating her voice and yet he'd give anything to hear her say something comforting to him.

"Yes," There was no point in lying, he had already answered her phone call. Besides, he knew that she could tell if she dissected his voice enough.

"..." Jaehee didn't answer for a long time. He would've thought she hung up if he didn't hear her breathing. "What are you doing so late?"

"Nothing," He said as he held up his wine glass to look at it. He knew the answer she was looking for. He supposed there was a perk to her not already being at his house. That reminded him: She had belongings here that she needed back. Perhaps he could pack them for her at some point.

"...You know, I don't really appreciate the insult of lying to me,"

And there that was. She was a human lying detector when it came to him.

"So, what're you actually doing?"

"Drinking until I eventually don't feel anything," He said honestly. He wasn't aiming for anything else through this activity but to forget what emotions were. There was a point, it wasn't entirely pointless. Not to him, at the very least.

"You know, your health is on the line when you do that,"

"Honestly, Jaehee, I couldn't care less,"

There was a long silence but it wasn't awkward. There was no feeling of needing to have it dissipate. So he put his phone down and set it on speaker until she decided to talk or hang up. Either way, he'd hear her next move.

She stayed silent, and the thought of her falling asleep with him on the line was almost enough to make him laugh. It was rather adorable, almost like a child. They had only done that on two accounts, as he can recall. There was usually a reason for those calls though.

He thought for a moment and waited a little longer before he decided to speak himself in a hushed voice, as if he were going to wake her if he talked normally.

"...I'm really sorry, Jaehee. I apologize for most of my behavior throughout our partnership. I was selfish, self-centered, and I didn't think that you could burn out just as easily as anyone else. It was a fault on my part. I was arrogant and an embarrassment. I wish I had been more careful and I had seen what I was doing to you. I was also possessive and fearful the entire time, trying to make you look less appealing to my father by any means, thanks to his habit of taking women like you away from me. Still, that's not an excuse. I was childish and rude, I insulted you at various points, even if you had done the same. I still apologize and I feel I was forever be apologizing. I feel that I have a large debt to repay,"

His rant paused for a moment before he continued.

"I apologize. I hope to formally do so at some point in the future,"

He nearly jumped when he heard the familiar beep of the phone hanging up. The sound rang in his ears like an alarm, echoing through his skull.

She hung up the phone.

She heard every word.

Either that, or someone else did.

A/N: Okay you guys so I might be a bit rusty from my little break. Go easy on me. I tried to write. I hope you guys enjoyed it! :)