Biting my lip, we walked through the doors to the airport, Harry's hand held firmly in mine. A crowd of screaming girls yelled at them, calling out their names, singing their songs and waving banners in the air. I felt Harry's hand tighten around mine, for my benefit more than for his. He knew I didn't like being in huge crowds although I'd learnt to get used to it when going out with Harry. They seemed to follow him everywhere.
We followed the heads of the security guards in front of us as they made their way through the airport to check in. The pitch of the screaming increased when Zayn waved at them all and shouted "VAS HAPPENING?" He loved to interact with the fans.
Eventually we reached the check in desk, I stood back as the boys, Danielle, Bay and Vanessa checked their bags in. It happened quickly as the staff opened up new counters especially for them. I chatted with one of the security guards until Harry came back.
"They're about to go through to the departure lounge. If you say bye to them first we can have a few minutes alone." He said smiling, even though his eyes looked sad.
Before I could answer him they all came up to us. It seemed they had the same idea. "Well, Lilo, good luck with your new job and don't get too lonely without as all" Niall quipped.
"Thanks and I'll try not to. It's going to be very quiet without you all."
"I can't believe you can't come." Bay said, pulling me into a hug, I genuinely thought she was going to cry.
"I know. Me too, but it's only for a couple of months. It'll fly by." I tried smiling to reassure her, but the corners of my mouth twitched as though I were about to cry, so I had to look away.
The rest of the goodbyes happened in a blur. Vanessa hugged me, promising me she'd send weekly emails with lots of photos. Louis promised he'd look after Harry, which was a worrying thought seeing as everything they got up to was a health risk, Niall vowed to keep Harry well fed and Liam hugged me tightly and wished me the best of luck.
They all walked off together, Niall comforting Bay who'd finally started crying once I'd said goodbye to Danielle, Louis strolled off with his arm wrapped around Vanessa's shoulder and Zayn strutted ahead still chatting to a few fans who were desperately trying to break through the barrier of security guards.
"I'm going to miss you so much." Harry said to me quietly. He pulled me over to a quiet corner where the fans wouldn't see us.
"I'll miss you too." I said, taking his hands in mine. "Promise me you'll ring me when you get a free minute." I looked at his hands, unable to meet his eyes for the fear of crying.
"I promise and please, please ring me after your first day, I want to know everything about it." He untangled a hand from mine to lift my face up by my chin so my eyes met his. The expression in his eyes made me smile.
"I will. Look after yourself."
"You too." He pulled my face towards his and kissed me. It was the greatest goodbye kiss you could ever imagine. I didn't want to let go. We obviously weren't as well hidden as we though as a chorus of "AWWW's" surrounded us. The fans had seen.
We broke apart too soon for my liking. He rested his forehead against mine and gazed into my eyes. "I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." I kissed him on the nose before placing my hands on his chest. "You should go." I sighed. "I'll cry if you stay any longer." I tried to laugh, to make it less serious.
"Okay" he said reluctantly. "I'll ring you when we land."
"Every time you land" I corrected with a grin. "Enjoy. I love you so much. You'll be amazing on that stage." I smiled.
He started to walk backwards away from me. "Thanks" He grinned. "See you in a few weeks babe." With one last wave he turned around and headed around the corner and suddenly went out of sight.
It was only when I was back in the mini bus we'd all taken to get to the airport did I allow myself to finally cry. It was so quiet; a complete contrast to what it was like on the way there. Zayn wasn't snoring to himself, Niall wasn't eating, Louis wasn't joking with Liam and Harry and I wasn't chatting with the girls. My right hand felt empty without Harry holding it.
The uncomfortably quiet mini bus drove through London, back to the apartment that would also be empty. I didn't notice anything the whole way home. I'd managed to stop crying but I couldn't think of anything other than Harry's grin as he walked away from me.
A beep broke my train of thought. It was as if it were a signal to the driver that things could go back to normal as he suddenly turned the radio on, shattering the silence. Ironically, One Direction was playing; it was their newest and my favorite song off their new album. I looked at the message that had interrupted the silence, it was Harry.
"I forgot to say good luck! How could I forget? You'll be great. I love you xx"
I wriggled my thumbs as I thought about what to type in return. Eventually I decided.
"Thank you. It's because you're so excited ;) I love you too xx"
I pressed send, locked my phone and slid it back into my pocket. I looked out of the window for the first time since getting into the car; we were outside the apartment already. I sighed as I thought of the empty home that awaited me. Swallowing the lump in my throat I stepped out of the car, thanked the driver and headed inside.
This was going to be a slow two months.
