*I have no WIFI so I upload at school*
"We should get Gemma to babysit soon, then the two of us can go out, like old times" Harry said as he held the apartment door open for me.
"Harry, Patrick is only a week and a half old" I laughed. "But that does sound good." I smiled. I entered the room and noticed the light on the phone was flashing. We had an answer phone message. "I'm going to put Pat down, there's an answer phone message" I nodded towards the phone dock as I headed towards the baby's room.
I placed the car seat on the changing table and picked out my son. His green eyes were wide as he watched everything that was happening. He was small and soft in my hands as I held him in the air; my arms stretched straight out and bounced him slightly above my head so I was looking up at him. His pudgy red lips opened in a small smile as he gurgled appreciatively. "You like that huh?" I smiled as his arms waved around by my head. I brought him back down and cradled him in one of my arms as I pottered around and got his crib ready. I sensed Louis leaning against the door frame before I saw him. I smiled and carried on putting Patrick down in his crib so he could sleep.
"What's wrong?" I asked Harry as I walked past him and quietly pulled the nursery door shut. Lilo had fallen straight asleep.
"I listened to the message." He frowned.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It was the doctor's surgery." He leant against the wall and watched me as I sat down on the sofa. I didn't understand what was wrong. He didn't seem as happy as he had earlier.
"Oh right. What did they want?"
He walked over to me and brushed the hair back off my face. "To know if the stitches had dissolved from your forehead yet." He said quietly. His voice was low with a hint of underlying anger and confusion. "and to see if you were still suffering from rib pain." I couldn't meet his eyes. I'd completely forgotten to tell him about my fall and now he'd found out. I swallowed and plucked up the courage to gain eye contact. He was still frowning at me in a way that made me crumble.
"I totally forgot to tell you" I said quietly. I looked away and felt his hand fall from where it was holding my hair back. I stared at my hands in my lap.
"You forgot to tell me how you got stitches in your head and bruised ribs."
"You were on tour, I didn't want you to have to cancel again and come back because I'm such a klutz." My voice was getting shaky; I had never been able to deal with confrontation well when it mattered. In a law court I could argue for days but when it was with people I loved I'd break down easily.
"Yet you didn't even tell me once you knew you were fine or when I got home. It seems you were never going to tell me." His voice was still deep, I could tell he was trying to stay quiet because of Patrick but I knew he was angry.
"I was going to tell you, I promise, I just forgot to. By the time you got back you were so excited about me giving birth it fled my mind."
"So this is my fault? It's my fault you didn't tell me?" He scoffed. I shot up to my feet and turned to face me.
"I didn't say that!" I gasped. "I said I forgot because you were so excited, it rubbed off on me and I just forgot! I didn't plan to keep it a secret from you. I just never got round to it."
He looked at me, his eyes still narrowed. "But you could have told me. You still haven't told me!" His voice was getting louder so I took his arm and went to pull him into the kitchen so we were further away from the baby but he snatched his arm from my grip. I couldn't do anything, so I turned and headed there anyway. If he wanted to know he could follow.
The door swung shut as he came in behind me. "I'll explain" I said, sitting down at the table. He surprised me by sitting opposite me; I thought he was going to stay standing.
"I'm listening."
"Okay." I wrung my fingers in my lap as I spoke. "Bay rang me and told me she was home, she wanted to meet up, it was two weeks before you got home, three before I gave birth. I was on my way to meet up with her and decided to take the stairs. I tripped or whatever and fell down. I hit my head, twisted my ankle and had a mild concussion. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd worry about the baby and I wouldn't be able to stop you from coming home. The doctors said the baby was fine so I knew I didn't have to tell you right away. I had a few stitches and was told to take painkillers to numb the rib pain. That was it."
"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"I was going to! I forgot!" I sighed.
He shook his head and leant forward. "That's not an excuse Lilo." He pulled his fingers through his hair and held his head in his hands. "I can't believe you didn't tell me. What would you have done if there was something wrong with Patrick? Would you have told me then?"
"Yes!" I gasped. "Of course I would have! As soon as I knew everything was okay I knew I could wait until you got home so you wouldn't have to worry."
"But you conveniently forgot" he scoffed. "Something serious could have happened and you didn't think to tell me. I'm your husband and you were pregnant with our child. How could you live with yourself if something happened to him?"
"I wouldn't have been able to but that didn't happen! Hazza, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, I honestly forgot. You know what they say about pregnant women and 'baby brain' or whatever it is. I know I should have told you and I promise you I was going to, but I forgot." I reached out to take his hand but stopped when I remembered what he'd done when I touched his arm earlier.
"Whatever."
"You know what Harry? I understand that you're angry that I didn't tell you and I'm sorry that I didn't but there's no need to be childish about it. Call me when you grow up." I pushed the chair back and left the kitchen. I grabbed my keys from the side and left Harry sat at the table and my son sleeping in his bedroom.
I needed to clear my head. I knew I was wrong when I didn't tell Harry about my fall but he didn't need to be childish in how he spoke to me. He had a right to be angry but he was taking it all the wrong way. I needed space and he did too, so I took the lift down to the front doors and walked to the nearest park where I could sit in the cool sun and try and calm down.
