Categorize [Fifth Harmony Love Triangle]

Chapter 20

{Lauren}

E v e r y t h i n g felt foggy, like I was walking through soft grey smoke. My emotions were all over the place my emotions were thick full of desperation and wasted since so many of the emotions that go along with falling love had been separated and given to different people who never did the right thing for me, because I was not the first choice. Not being first choice was painful; I had thought that Camila chose me because she was with me. She was my girlfriend. But instead she was slowly gaining feelings for someone else, I could say that everything was fine and I could move on but it was never that easy, because along with Camila I had gained feelings for Kordei. Nothing was ever that easy for me. Love and pain go together like cake and ice cream but when you have one more than the other how can you fix what’s been broken?

I didn’t want this situation anymore; I wanted to be with one person or no one at all. I didn’t want to choose, it wanted to be with someone and move on from the other, instead it came became a complicated mess of three girls who couldn’t make a decision. Love should be simple; I shouldn’t feel so numb I should feel happy or crying.

My emotions were tangled up and mixed in with each other, anger, sadness, confusion it was making me turn into a hot pool of emotion and I have nothing to show for it, my girlfriend hasn’t spoken to me and Kordei said I wouldn’t like her choice, it seemed like their decision had finally been made and I will be left out in the dust.

And still I felt a thick desperation to see them both, see if they were doing OK or were as bad as I was. I wanted to touch Camila’s hair and make sure she had a smile on her face and wasn’t acting reserved around me like she was in the beginning when we first met. I wanted to see Kordei and make sure she still had that snarky attitude so she could prove to me that she was still feeling OK because when Kordei starts feeling emotions she stops being an asshole.

So when lunch finally rolled around I practically ran out of my classroom and toward the library to see the girls darting behind people and moving side to side trying to find the quickest route to get to the library. My heart was racing as I darted in between people rushing back and forth until I reached the library, when I finally made it inside I smiled at the librarians and cut behind the large bookshelves to find our small little area, the walls were bookshelves and windows, where anyone inside could hear out but inside. The bright lighting from the wall of windows and could feel the warmth of the sun at noon exactly, it had enough space where we could all lay on the floor and sleep if we wanted too.

I stepped inside and sat down, I had gotten here first and took a breath and waited for everyone else to come in, listening to my pounding heart my whole body felt like it was shaking.

I didn’t have to wait long until Camila sauntered in with red cheeks and a light smile, our eyes connected immediately and she smiled at little more at me, letting out a small breath. “Hey, Laur,” she said breathless “Can I have a hug please?” 

I get up right away and pull her into a hug rubbing at her hack as her arms wrap around my shoulders and she holds me so close I can feel her breath against my cheek.

“You have no idea how much I missed your hugs, Lauren, you seriously don’t understand.” She whispers along my skin “We have to talk about all of this,”

“I know, I know,” I respond “Just… in a minute, let’s wait for Kordei” and part of that is true but another part of me just wanted to hold her and act like everything was fine for another few minutes. When we finally break apart she smiles at me.

“I’ve been thinking, I think I know what to do about all of this. But I’m not saying anything until Kordei gets here because I don’t want to leave her out of this.” Camila smiles and grabs my hand “I’ve been thinking about this all of today, I really hope this works.”