Categorize [Fifth Harmony Love Triangle]

Chapter 16

this is a long one 

{Camila}

I did something bad, something really bad. I cheated on my girlfriend and I didn’t care, I felt happy. I finally did something without wondering what trouble it would bring me, I just went with what I was feeling. I can’t do that anywhere else. I can’t do that at home without repercussions and I can’t make my own choices there. I can’t do that at school because if it affects my grades then it will only cause me to have more trouble with keeping up my grades.

But I can control my actions, and I can control my relationship and I put it in my hands and did something I actually wanted to do with it. I wanted to kiss Kordei and I did, and I didn’t regret anything.

Kissing Kordei made me feel a rush, a rush that was something I had never felt before. From meeting Kordei to getting to know her brought and hearing her speak about the things she was passionate about and sleeping in her arms and waking up to cook with her… it all just felt right.

I tried to pay attention to Lauren, but I only needed to talk to her when I was lonely.

But there were still things about Lauren I adored.

Her green eyes and her smile, how she can talk about cool music that I had never heard before. I loved how playful she was, she was playful in a way Kordei wasn’t and that was different and I would miss that.

But I wanted Kordei; even if everything was going to go wrong I still wanted to try.

Something about Kordei was dark, and I didn’t know what and I wanted to find out. I didn’t know much about her and I wanted to know everything. I wanted to search every single crevasse of Normani Kordei and know why she acts the way she does.

She said I had the power to break her, I didn’t know how I could ever have the ability to do that and I wanted to find out. 

I closed my eyes and thought about our kiss, our first kiss, the best kiss. Her lips soft on mine but rough all the same, her hands on my neck and me holding her touching her bareback. Everything about that kiss felt amazing. Feeling her lips on mine made me only want to have it over, again and again.

But I still had Lauren, my girlfriend.

I still wanted her, just in a different way I wanted Kordei.

I knew it wasn’t as strong right now and that was mostly because being with Kordei was new. Lauren and I have only been together for a few months and it felt old. Not the way it should when relationships should be when it’s been less than six months.  Everything felt… lived in, been there done that.

I didn’t really understand why I felt this way but I did.

It didn’t feel overdramatic, or stupid, or foolish it just felt like the truth.

I still wanted to be with Lauren, where everything was safe and simple, but I don’t want ‘safe and simple’ anymore.

I was sitting in bed just thinking about everything when my phone rang. I picked it up to look at who was calling me.

“Hey Lolo,” I say when I answer and I can hear Lauren giggle.

“Hi baby, I miss you.” Lauren says softly and I smile at the sound of her voice.

“I was just thinking about you,” I say back and from then the conversation flows from there talking about our day, I quickly avoided the second half of my day which I spent with Kordei outside but other than that it all went well.

I could feel the guilt coming over me and it made me feel a little sick and now I don’t want to feel this way, I knew I needed to tell Lauren.

Once we got off the phone I called Kordei, who didn’t answer until the last ring.