.: Friday I'm In Love :|: Reddie :.

This Is 2018

The Losers' Club

Richie: for ur information, stanley, the only reason eddie hasnt seen my dick is because it was so far up his ass that it disappeared completely

Stanley: That's disgusting. Eddie?

Eddie: Shut up Richie oh my god

Bev: IM HERE NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Bev: oh gross lol

Richie: why should i shut up? its true! u just dont want to admit it because it gets u all hot and bothered.

Eddie: ohmygodshutup

Stan: Are you fucking serious?

Bev: oh shit i don't think he's kidding

Eddie: For the record, it's only partially true. I HAVE seen your dick, asshole. Don't forget that I was the one with the balls to blow you before you got the chance to blow me. Jesus Christ.

Stan: Okay, now that I can believe.

Eddie: I'm afraid he wasn't exactly lying about the rest of it, though

Bev: WHAT?! eddie! my baby! you had sex and didn't tell me?! did you use protection? he didn't hurt you, did he?

Richie: oF CouRSe We uSeD PRoTeCTioN. im not THAT stupid.

Stan: I beg to differ.

Eddie: Yes, we used protection. It hurt as much as you'd expect it to hurt, I had a dick up my ass.

Bill: I don't know what I just wandered into but I would like to wander back out.

Richie: NO, NO WAY. get back in here u wet end

Eddie: Wet end? Richie, this is 2018.

Richie: i cant help it! i read the body and now i am teddy duchamp.

Eddie: Whatever. Are we done here?

Bev: ooh, sassy. no, we aren't done. now we need to get the deets on the stenbrough side of the scale.

Bill: no

Stan: it's a no from me as well

Bev: oh, don't be pussies. if eddie can do it, you can do it.

Bill: not true. Eddie is braver than he looks.

Richie: whoa, man. back off.

Stan: Oh, get over yourself.

Bev: come on, spill! any under the waistline exploration yet?

Bill: i sucked his dick, is that all you want to hear?

Richie: yeah, bill, get some!

Stan: I agree with Eddie, I'm leaving now.

Bill: babe noooooo

Stan: You can come over if you want.

Bill: ooh ok I'll be there in 5

Bev: and then there were two.

Richie: damn everyone left fast.

Bev: i can't believe my child actually had sex with his boyfriend

Eddie: shut up

Richie: he speaks!

Eddie: Sorry, someone was texting me

Richie: yeah, i know. ur sitting right next to me. ur thumbs are moving across your phone like ur life depends on it but nothing was appearing in the chat.

Eddie: How observant of you.

Bev: who're ya texting, eddie?

Eddie: My mom.

Richie: whoa whoa. why are u texting her? shes just gonna try to guilt trip u into going back to that hellhole.

Bev: hellhole? back? what's going on?

Eddie: My mom found out about Richie and I. She tried to get in between things, so I left. I'm staying at Richie's now, but the Dunkin Donuts down the street from the school hired me to work afternoons after school let's out.

Bev: jesus christ i'm so sorry

Eddie: It's fine, I guess. She wasn't very good to me in the first place. I haven't needed my inhaler since I left, even though it's only been a few days.

Bev: well that's good!

Richie: yup. its cause im better for u, eds

Eddie: Damn right, you are.

Bev: awww, that's cute.

Eddie: Hang on, someone wants to call me.

Richie: who?

Eddie: Parker.