DC COMICS IMAGINES

"Friends"

Requested on Tumblr: Damian with prompt 6 and 9 it's 6 and 8 I write it wrong sorry! fem reader 

6. "Seven billion people in the world, and you're overreacting because we killed one man." "But-" "Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie.

8. "This is the third time I've been kidnapped this WEEK. It's getting old."

a/n: I'm working on a second part for 'I hate, I love you' should be out soon. 

You glared at the ground as you dangled 8 feet in the air. There was literally no way you could escape this situation unless you wanted to die, and you didn't want that. Maybe you could negotiate with the assassins. Nah, annoying them sounds better. You tilted your head to the side and groaned when you noticed your kidnapper walking into the room.

"This is the third time I've been kidnapped this WEEK. It's getting old. You could've just called instead of breaking into my room at midnight and tear my room up in the process," you said annoyance lacing your voice. Your kidnapper laughed as they took their time approaching you.

"We had to make this look unprofessional," they said kneeling down in front of you, "We had to throw him off."

"Gee, where did you learn that from? John Mulaney's show? Your son is going to show up and you know it, Talia." you sneered. That's right. Talia al Ghul kidnapped you instead of calling you.

You flinched as she roughly grabbed your chin and made you look at her. "That's what I'm hoping for little y/n. Damian cares too much for you and that Kent boy. I don't see why he likes you."

"Well, for starters," you said glancing up to the ceiling railing spotting a certain birdie. "I don't expect him to take over a clique of assassins and try to take over the world like your father. Two, everyone needs that one friend that always gets in trouble and Jon is too much of a nice kid, and he's a super so he can rescue himself. Three, for some odd reason Batman has me on a freaking watch list after I punched him and cuss him out."

"Are you done?" Talia said standing up.

"Eh, I don't know. I can find more things to argue about but your son looks like he is going to fall asleep any minute now," you said looking up. Talia followed your gaze to where Damian was perched but he wasn't there.

"There's no one," she informed you.

"Oh I know, I just don't care and besides I made you look."

Not even a second later Damian shows up out of nowhere with his katana on hand ready to stab anyone that gets in his way. "Hello, Mother."

"Damian."

"Y/n. Now that we all introduced each other for absolutely no reason, can someone cut me down? Please?" you said trying to free your hands.

You saw Damian roll his eyes and raise his sword as assassins ran into the room, ready to protect their leader.

"What do you want with l/n, mother?" Damian asked. You noticed someone approach you from behind as Talia walked towards her son.

"I just wanted to see you. To talk to you," she said signaling the guy to cut you loose. They didn't even give you enough time to adjust yourself so you wouldn't land on your face. You groaned in pain as you landed on the ground.

"Tt, so you went through all this trouble to kidnap my associate?" he asked annoyed.

"And here I thought we were friends," you mumbled. You untangled yourself from the mess of ropes and got off the floor.

"It was the only way you would talk to me," Talia said. Honestly, you just wanted them to fix their problems so you could go home.

"Tt, your plan failed. l/n lets go," Damian commanded. You stood in place and examined your nails showing no interest in leaving, even though you wanted to leave. 

"y/n?"

"Huh? Oh, we're leaving already? Are we allowed to go?" you asked nobody in particular. Talia nodded her head yes and lead you to the door. Time to do something.

"Dames, your mom went through a lot of trouble to kidnap. No, you know what? I'm not going to sugarcoat this," you said grabbing Damian by the collar of his cape and dragging him to the center of the room. "Someone get some chairs and drinks! These two are going to talk to each other!"

Damian and Talia looked at you surprised. What the hell were you doing? Who freaking knows not you or him or her. "Now, you two are going to talk and I'm just going to sit here on the ground reciting the entire script of Hamilton to myself, AND THEN we can leave."

"l/n we..."

"No," you interrupted, "shut up and talk to your mom you dimwit."

You sat down and gestured at the two to talk to each other.  This was not going to end well, is it?

  -------------  

Thirty minutes later you walked out of Talia's base with a pissed off Robin. They did talk but then they started insulting each other for some weird reason. So after twenty insults you dragged Damian out and apologized to Talia. What a lovely night.

Back in Gotham you and Damian were in the kitchen of his home coming up with a plan to explain why you two were gone for a long time. Knowing the bat boys, they would just come up with the dirtiest excuse ever and you don't need that.

"Okay, so how about we tell your father that we went to Star City to hang out with Emiko and then it turned into a girls night out?" you suggested.

"In case you have forgotten I'm a male. Meaning I can't participate in this girls night out."

"Fine you went to a boys night out with Jon and whatever friends you have and I went on a murdering spree," you said carelessly.

"Who went on a murder spree?" someone asked. You slowly turned your chair towards the owner of the voice and took a sip of your drink.

"Uh I did sir, not to worry I only killed one guy," you said. Bruce raised his eyebrow as he walked into the kitchen.

"One guy?" At this point, Damian sneaked out of the kitchen and left you alone.

"Uh, yup."

"Killing isn't tolerated here."

"You know the Earth is suffering from overpopulation right?"

"One death.."

"Seven billion people in the world, and you're overreacting because I killed one man."

"But-"

"Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie." you interrupted sliding a smoothie towards him. You got up and quickly walked out of the room in search of Damian. When you found him you threw the nearest object at him. Which happened to be a lamp.

"Seriously?!?!?! How dare you leave me with the one person that hates me?!?!"

"You're overreacting y/n."

"Screw you. Wayne."

"Please don't. Besides I rescued you, you owe me."

You glared at the 5-foot gremlin in front of you. "I owe you? Shall I remind you who kidnapped me?"

"My mother has kidnapped all my friends at least once."

"Oh so now I'm your friend."

"Yes, and if I were you I would sit down and read a book before attracting attention."

You stomped like a five year and sat down on Damian's bed and stole his book. Least to say the rest of the day went on smoothly, with the occasional rumor and death threats of course.