be my song // HRVY

sesenta y tres

I told my mom everything after I came home because I really needed to get everything out.

"Do you think I did the right thing?",I asked with tears in my eyes, she looked at me a sad smile on her face.
"It's hard to tell right from wrong sometimes honey.I can't tell you if the decision you made was right but I can tell you that I'm very proud of you.You didn't just think about yourself, you thought about it entirely and made a decision.I know that it hurts but I'm sure that you can talk it out and stay friends.",she told me.

"Mom I don't want to be just friends, I want him as my boyfriend!",I cried out.

"But I can't!I have to move on.I can't stay friends with him because I love him.I have to let him go.",I said the words more to myself than to my mom.

She sighed and gave me a tight hug.
"Honey everything will be alright, give it a little time and it'll get sorted out.Maybe he'll want to talk to you and tell you that he doesn't care about the fame and what others think.Maybe he just loves you as much as you love him and he'll tell you his point of view.",she told me smiling.

Yeah, and maybe he just doesn't care and will ignore me for the rest of my life.

***

It was Monday again and I was dreading the day.
I didn't want to go to school at all but I had to, even though I was scared to see him again.

The first two lessons went by slowly, Harvey wasn't in class.I was nervous because I had to tell our friends that it was over between us two and I wasn't sure how they would take it.The first time Harvey and I got into a fight wasn't good at all and I pushed everyone away.Now I'm pushing him away but I'm hoping that the others will still be my friends after that.Harvey obviously wants to hang out with the group too so I'm not sure how we will work it out.

I was walking down the halls towards our cafeteria, almost shitting myself.

Why am I always so freaking nervous when I have to tell someone something big?
This is literally eating me out alive!

As I entered the cafeteria, my eyes wandered off to our table where everyone besides Harvey was present.They were laughing and eating their lunch as I approached them, my heart almost beating out of my chest.

"Hey guys.",I said rather quietly but they heard it anyways.

"Hey weirdo!",Colbain smiled as I sat next to him.

Mar gave me an assuring smile, I told her yesterday what happened between Harvey and me and even though she was convinced we were 'meant to be'-that's what she said not me- she respected my decision.

"Do you know where Harvey is?",Seth asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Harvey texted me saying he was ill today.", Jamie shrugged his shoulders clueless to what the actual reason was why he wasn't here today.

"I have to tell you something important guys, I'm really scared because I don't want to lose you.",I began while fiddling with my hands.

"You can tell us anything Gravity, we are here for you!",Seth smiled as I took a deep breath.

"Okay so Harvey and I aren't together anymore.I saw him and Cecelia kissing and ended it but he explained that it wasn't him but Cecelia who tried to ruin our relationship.Anyways I started to realize that he would leave soon and become a singer.And I'm pretty sure that he'll have lots of fans who wouldn't approve of me and probably start hating.Besides that I think that he would be better off without me, I mean he has to concentrate on his career and I would just be a burden.",I told them sighing.

"You're not a burden Gravity!",Jamie shook his head.

"But I understand what you mean.We respect your decision right guys?",Seth smiled looking at the group.
They all nodded but Colbain frowned.
"But what about Harvey?He's in our group too?",he asked confused.

"I don't believe I'm saying this but he's right.",Seth said while a small smile escaped my lips.

"We can work it out guys, we have to talk to him.Would you rather not hang out with him or are you okay with the fact that we would all chill together?",Jamie asked me.
"I would prefer not to hang out with him right now, maybe later I'd be okay but right now it just hurts too much to see him.",I said slowly my eyes looking anywhere but him.

"I get it it's okay Grav.",Jamie smiled as I thanked them.

"We can hang out with you two separately it's gonna be hard but we will work it out!",he spoke enthusiastically.

"You guys are amazing I don't deserve you at all.",my voice was very wobbly.

Mar stood up from her seat and walked towards me pulling me in a big hug.
"I really needed that thank you.",I laughed wiping the tears that escaped my eyes.

I'm such a crybaby.

***

The bell rung and we all walked out of class, I put my books into my locker before heading out of the building.I saw Colbain in the far back and I suddenly remembered I had to talk to him.I ran towards him and yelled "Colbain, wait!" before he could enter his car.
He looked up confused as to who yelled his name when his eyes finally landed on me a big smile erupted on his face.

"Gravity!Whats up!",he grinned.
"I-",I started but I was completely out of breath.
"Shit I can't this was too much!",I put my hands on his shoulder for support.

"Do you need some water?",he chuckled handing me his bottle.

"Thanks weirdo!",I breathed taking a big gulp out of it.

"Fuck this was too much.",I said as he shook his head.
"You ran from our school doors to my car that wasn't a lot.",he smirked.

"Shut up I hate sports, plus that's enough for a freaking month.",I rolled my eyes handing him the bottle again.

"So what do you want?It must be something important or you would never run like that.",he laughed.

"Right!We gotta talk.",I said being serious again.
"Hop in the car I'll drive you home.",he said walking towards his car.

I entered his car and turned towards him:
"So you remember the girl you met at the party?"

***

[a/n: hi luvs, I'm so excited to put a second book out wow are you even ready for this?please vote and comment ily guys🌻💛]