Never close our eyes

Chapter 110- Creep

Adam parked the car at the cemetery's parking lot.

I stared at the Denver family who flocked at a tent in the middle of the cemetery. I knew all of them. Dan's dad, siblings, aunts, nieces, nephews, grandchildren and other family spouses and friends. Even Mrs. Dixon was there, talking seriously with Dan's aunt and sister. Dan may have lived his adult life alone, but he is still in good terms with his family and he is very loved by them.

I looked at my black skirt and fiddled with it as I felt a tear come up.

"You okay?" I felt Adam squeeze my hand.

I looked at him.

No Adam... I actually want to break down and throw a tantrum like a three year old, if you don't mind.

"Yeah." I answered instead and got out of the car.

Adam followed me and put his arm around me.

Thanks...

We walked over to the Denver family.

Sheila, Dan's youngest sister walked towards me, eyes red from crying and her face pale and white.

"Hey Sheila." I approached her and gave her a hug.

"Hi Mandy." she sniffed and hugged me back.

Then she let go, rubbing her swollen eyes.

"How ya holding up?" I gave a forced smile.

She gave a small laugh, but it seemed like it was more of a cry than a laugh.

"I don't know, Mandy. I really don't." Sheila started to sob.

"Hey hey, c'mere." I hugged her tightly. Somehow, her sobbing just made me cry too.

After probably a minute of crying, I let go. Sheila sniffed and rubbed her eyes, giving a small chuckle.

Sheila's still the same. She has a habit of laughing a problem off and not dwelling on it. That's why even though she's already 30, she looks like she's 20. Sheila's really beautiful compared to Dan's other two sisters. Sheila has long blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes and French model-like physical characteristics.

"Can you please introduce me to your new hot boyfriend?" Sheila still had tears flowing down her cheeks, but she chose to laugh.

"Yeah." I chuckled, sniffing.

I introduced Adam to Sheila.

"You guys are all over the news!" Sheila laughed, still tearing up.

It was like she just wanted to cry and cry, but she felt the need to put on a smile. If I felt bad, how much more for her right?

"Impressed?" I joked and we both laughed.

"C'mon." she smiled at both Adam and I as she clung to my arm and we walked to the tent.

I greeted people I knew and some who were just introduced me. Adam also mingled and sympathized with the other family members. Everywhere I looked, I just saw plain sadness; disregarding the few small children who were carelessly playing with each other by the grass grounds.

Dan was really loved by everyone. It's so sad to see that I would be attending his funeral.

The ceremony started and Adam and I sat beside Mrs. Dixon. She gave me a sad smile and held my hand.

"We are here today to..." the priest started.

The ceremony was filled with sad, emotional and heartfelt speeches that made me turn to Adam and Mrs. Dixon for a comforting hug every now and then.

Dan...

The only person who actually made me feel like I had a dad.

"Can we hear a song from our very own Ms. Mandy Bright? " I saw the priest read a piece of paper.

Usually, I would've been shocked and would have resisted. But I felt like I needed to let all my feelings out.

A guy handed me a guitar and I mouthed a thank you.

I stepped into the mic and gazed at everyone who was there. Everyone was crying... sad... ALL SADNESS.

I sighed before speaking.

"Dan." I spoke.

"Who doesn't love him, right?" I smiled, a tear rolling down my cheeks.

"He..." I sniffed. "He was a father to me. He made me feel cared for, protected, and existent in those times when I felt the exact opposite."

I sighed.

"And I'd like to sing him his favorite song." I smiled.

(Soundtrack play- Creep by Radiohead)

When you were here before

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fucking special

I let out all my feelings... Taking in every word... Remembering every memory...

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice when I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I finished the song with a final strum. Everyone was silent. I hadn't noticed that my face was so wet from the flowing tears that I let out. Adam gave me a small smile and Mrs. Dixon started clapping. Soon enough, others cheered as well.

I just smiled, set down the guitar and went back to my seat.

The priest thanked me and continued on with the ceremony.

"Dan would be so proud." Mrs. Dixon smiled at me.

I just gave a small smile.

How I wish he was here to say that himself...