•Seventeen•

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Rolling my eyes, I hop off the couch and head in the kitchen, grab a bag of Doritos then go upstairs to Mia's room. She's been on the phone with Austin since we got back and if I hear 'baby' one more time, I'm gonna jump off the fucking roof.

I grab my phone and settle myself on her bed, going through my Instagram feed before deciding on watching Divorce Court on YouTube.

Jace has been on my mind which is really starting to mess with my head. I can't think straight and I can't even imagine trying to think about something else.

I will honestly admit, I did think Jace and I had a good thing going but obviously I was wrong.

Him being my tutor got the best of me, only getting my hopes up and fucking up my mind in the end.

Just trying to think of how life would've been if someone else took the spot of being my tutor seems like I would be in a better position right now, not feeling the way I do.

Those pictures of us at the diner would have not been taken.

I probably would've never twisted my ankle either and I would definitely NOT be thinking about him and going crazy over something like this right now.

But then I began to think about how life would've been if he didn't, but in a DIFFERENT perspective.

We wouldn't have had that little YouTube binging in the hallway.

I wouldn't have had that long ass convo with him that night.

I wouldn't have even known him. Well, on another level.

The thoughts began to cloud up my mind as I place the bag of chips and my phone on the bedside table, covering my ears and groaning as if someone just kept shoving thoughts through my ears and I huddle into a ball on Mia's bed.

A wet substance is felt rolling down my face as I tightly close my eyes.

You're really clumsy, aren't you munchkin?

Hey...Kayla.

Kiss me.

I want you to have it.

His voice was now clouding my mind as I shut my eyes tighter, tears still rolling down my face.

A hand was felt on my back and I jump a little, removing my hands from my ears and looking at Mia. "Are you alright?"

Her sympathetic look makes me break down completely, losing it in front of my best friend. She holds me tight as I ball my eyes out on her shoulder, trying to clear my mind a little so that I could answer her.

I sit straight, her wiping the tears off of my eyes. My eyes wander to the corner on their own and I notice the elephant. Uncontrollably, I began to cry again. "Kayla," Mia says, her voice concerned but from her tone also growing impatient.

"Is it Jace?" She whispers and I look up at her, her face already shows that she knows the answer and she pouts. "You can talk to me."

I huffed and wipe my eyes once more, "You have Austin and Drew has Zamiya. Jordan is somewhat with Laila and Zayn and Kaitlyn are solving their issues," I sniffle before continuing, "Everyone has someone. But me. I got so tangled up around one persons finger just to be hurt in the end."

My posture straightened as sadness slowly left my body and anger came in, "I've only like one person my whole life, Mia. One fucking person!" I yell and her eyes widen as if to let me know that people were asleep. "Sorry. But to have liked someone for this long and actually begin to even have hope just for it to get stepped on is really upsetting. And it's not even his fault. It's mine for being dumb and even thinking we were headed somewhere."

I chuckle, "Turns out he's headed somewhere and I'm just stuck at a road block."

"Oh Kayla," Mia began to rub my arm. "I know it hurts, I know it does. But I'm doing this as a friend."

"Doing wh-" she plucked my head. "Ow! Mia!"

"You did not reach this fucking road block just to make a u-turn. Sometimes, you just gotta turn the corner and make that dumbass realize he was going the wrong way."

I nod, realizing my best friend was right, "Thank you Mia."

"I'm always here for you baby girl."

[ J A C E ]
I stare at my phone, thinking whether or not I should text Mikayla. I know she saw me with.... Rayla? Jackie? Whatever the fuck the bitches name is.

I mean, I didn't really think she would be affected by it but I noticed her because she was looking at us for a pretty damn long time.

If shes hurt and stops talking to me, I'd completely lose it.

I'd lose her.

Mikayla is one of those girls that I need in my life. I've realized that I don't even want her for sex or anything like that anymore.

I wa- NEED her.

Be it as a friend or whatever, as long as she's in my life, I know I'll be whole.

She makes me whole.

But what if I don't make her the same thing? What if I'm just a tutor to be forgotten about and add completely nothing to her life?

What if she doesn't need me like I need her?

Sighing, I throw my phone to the corner of my bed, hoping she doesn't hate me.

Another short filler chapter. Sorry for the previous chapter being really shitty, I just needed something to happen to make Monday extra extra awkward.

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