Who am I? (Sequel to 'Who are you?') (TomTord)

24. Passing by

Tord's POV:

Ever since then, everything was the same. Days were passing by, all of them the same. Wake up, get up, get something small to eat, train, eat, train, go to sleep. Each and every day was the same. Nothing interesting was happening.

And as days were passing by, I was getting even more and more annoyed to do anything I had to. All I wanted was to lie in bed, not moving, just sleeping. I begun getting more and more tired, but slept less and less every single night. So yeah, it was pretty hard for me.

When someone asked me if I needed sleep and I would say yes, once I lied back down, I couldn't fall asleep. But my eyes were burning from the tiredness. I kept yawning and almost passing out... Then why not sleep?

I always had bags under my eyes that were totally visible. My hair was a mess and I haven't showered in weeks... But time was always passing by like a river. I woke up and before I could even wake up a little, it was time to go back to bed and try to fall asleep.

This kept repeating over and over again. I was tired of it. When I was lying down, staring into a wall with a blank expression that was showing on my face and my eyes burning from not sleeping in a while, I could still hear gunshots ringing in my ears.

I was like this for a while now. It was only getting worse. I started seeing things. Sometimes my vision only blurred and sometimes my whole vision went black. And sometimes I was seeing Tom smiling at me and telling me to keep going.

That was something that pushed me foward. I knew it was for my friends... And for all the innocent people out there that had no idea that they could be in grave danger. And I was determined to help all of them.

Paul and Patryck kept trying to give me food, but as time was passing by, I ate less and less and less. Just like sleeping. By now, all I was ever doing was training and laying in my bed, my mind was completly blank and empty.

I had this day off to get myself some free time. But like before, I just kept laying in my bed, ignoring the world around me. Every single hour, Paul or Patryck came into the room and asked if I was hungry or needed something. My answer was always the same, just like everything else.

"No, thank you." I only felt like I was wasting my time by just doing nothing except for laying in my bed. 'I should do something with myself...' I always thought. But I never did anything. I didn't get up. I didn't move.

When it was getting late...at least that was what I thought, I haven't seen the outside ever since I left the others in The Blue Army base and came back here after that, Paul and Patryck were getting more and more worried. They kept checking on me and thought that I was maybe sick or something like that.

They were wrong, but also right. They were wrong in saying that I was sick, but I was sick... It was only a bit different than just feeling terrible. I was lovesick... I missed Tom more than anything.. Of course I missed Edd and Matt too, but Tom wasn't leaving my thoughts.

He was still in my head and I couldn't help, but think about him. Sometimes I was so lost in my thoughts that I actually stopped breathing! Really, that was happening to me. I always heard someone yell "Breathe!" at me so that kinda woke me up from the trance I was trapped in.

Whenever I was walking around the army base, I saw soldiers I was passing by. They all had different reactions when they saw me. Some of them looked really worried and concerned. Then there were the ones that you could tell they were judging you. They thought I was weak... And I was weak... Then some of them just had a blank expresion, not really caring about how I felt.

Some of them were still thinking of me as The Red Leader, but I wasn't. I had nothing to do with this army anymore except that Paul and Patryck were there. I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard another knock.

"Tord, it's me again. So, do you need anything this time?" I heard Paul's concerned voice. "No, thank you." I said, repeating the same sentence for like the ninth time today. I expected him to go way like he always did, but he came closer to my bed instead.

"Tord..." I looked at him. "Yes?" He sighed. "Look, we're all really worried about you, Tord... If something is wrong, you can just tell us, you know that..." He said. I didn't answer, just looked away from him. I felt like I was just dissapointing him by just looking at him.

I heard footsteps and then someone entered the room. It was Patryck. "Tell us, we know something's wrong with you." He said, trying to convince me. "I'm fine, guys. Don't worry, but thanks for caring about me." I said.

"Tord, please! Stop playing that game! You're not okay and we can see that clearly!" Paul said. I didn't even move, I was scared enough to even breathe. Heh, breathe... "Breathe!" A voice echoed in my head. Or was it really in my head..?

I snapped out of it, only to see Paul and Patryck looking down at me with fear and sadness in their eyes. I was laying on the floor. I felt something hot roll down ym cheeks. Tears were here again, slowly becoming the only thing that was signalizing that I was still a living person and not just a breathing corpse.

I sat up. "Tord, are you al-" I cut Patryck off. "Yes. I'm. Fine." I answered, avoiding eye contact. I stood up and sat on my bed. They both sat next to me. "You miss them, don't you..?" Paul asked. Even though he didn't mention their names, I still knew who he was talking about.

I nodded slowly. "Hey, don't worry. We're actually already planning to attack!" Paul said. "You are..?" I asked. "Yup! I think we'll attack in a week." Patryck grinned. I didn't say anything again. "Well, you should really get some sleep, Tord. The stress is destroying you." Paul said and stood up with Patryck following.

They both left the room, leaving me alone again. But I was happy alone. I sighed and layed back down. It will not last too long and I will see them again... I will see my Tommie...

I sighed, closing my eyes. I kept thinking about Tom and the other two. After a long time, I smiled as well as I slowly fell into a well deserved sleep, hearing the river of time passing by...