Screw You, Jupiter [DISCONTINUED/REWRITTEN]

XLI

WARNING: I'm literally just writing a couple of scenes I had in my notes that I thought would be okay to try writing out. For pretty shitty ideas, I think it came out well. (dEnIaL)

I do not own Lord of the Rings.

I do own my OCs.

-o-

"You. Frigging. Piece. Of. Nerd. Flipping. Trash!"

"Ow! Stop hitting my back! You're gonna make the fucking scratches bleed, bitch!"

"You know full and well that you deserve it!" Manny shouted as she waved her sneaker after the fleeing scientist who jumped over the couch to hide behind it. "What have we learned today?!"

"Suck my dick, puta!"

A loud gasp ripped out of the brunette, "You take that back!"

Jupiter peaked his head over the couch and blew a raspberry at her while holding up both middle fingers. Manny's jaw dropped at the childish display before hurling her sneaker straight towards his face. The redhead ducked in time, causing the footwear to collide with the TV screen with a loud and concerning smack. Jupiter popped his head back up, looking back at the television screen - which was luckily unharmed - and then back at his best friend, "Are you fucking crazy?!"

Legolas, who was casually eating his breakfast, watched blandly with the others as she shouted, "I'm Manny Vallette, hoe, come out so I can fight you!"

"We are not doing this again, Amanda!"

"Yes, we are! It's high-time I whoop your ass, Jupiter!"

"There will be absolutely no ass whooping in this household! Let's, um, let's talk about this!"

"It's too late for that, jerk!"

Jupiter gulped as he heard the familiar sound of metal jingling, "Legolas?"

"...Yes?"

"Did she take off her belt?"

"I am afraid so, rose."

"Shit... I was hoping to save this last resort." Jupiter muttered to himself before fully standing up from behind the couch. "Wait!" He screamed, holding his hands up when she prepared to throw her other shoe, a folded belt clenched in the other. "Throw it and I'm flashin' my dick!"

Manny froze, her whole face going white at the sight of his fingers clenching the edges of his pants, "Don't you dare drop your pants, young man."

"Mental scarring can easily be avoided if you just drop the belt, step away, and let me take Legolas on a date."

Almost immediately, she dropped the weapon and put her hands up, hissing with a glower, "You will rue this day, Holo."

Jupiter didn't say anything. He only hurried over to his husband while keeping an extremely close eye on her, "Jupiter, love, you still need to eat no matter how much Manny so dearly wishes to torture you for keeping yet another secret from her."

"The hobbits can have it-" He barely acknowledged the scurrying of two pairs of feet, "You and I are leaving so the witch can cool down."

"Wait, what did you just call me?! Que te jo-"

Everyone dissolved into laughter as Jupiter swiftly swept Legolas off his feet, causing the elf to protest as he was carried up the stairs as if the devil was chasing after the poor scientist.