Only You(Tube) // A Joe Sugg FanFiction [EDITING]

Chapter 14

I wake to the room still dark. My throat feels dry, so I head downstairs to get a glass of water and am surprised to see the TV is still on. I see Finn sitting on the sofa, eyes not parting the bright screen. He looks a mess. His hair is completely wild and the dark circles under his eyes are so big, you can see them with very little light. His usual cheeky grin is replaced with an expressionless gaze, and a tear stain scars his cheek. I get a glass and sit down on the sofa next to him, trying my best not to feel awkward.

He turns his head before looking back at the screen, realising it's me. I take a long drink to get through the awkward silence and slam the glass back down on the table, making him jump. 'I can't take this anymore! Finn, you have to understand that it's not Joe's fault. He was drunk. I hate not talking to you and I miss you being there for me. Can we not just put the past behind us and get along again?' My brother nods, not looking at me or saying anything for a few minutes.

'Well, might as well accept your apology.' Finn gets up and stretches, and I am so relieved to hear these words that a tear falls down my cheek. I watch my brother as he heads to the kitchen, looking in the fridge. It makes me feel sick and I realise I have to tell him every secret I have. 'Um, also,' I hesitate before I tell my brother.

I don't want to lie to Finn, and he's going to find out about me and Joe anyways. 'Me and Joe - we're a thing now.' He hits his head off the top of the fridge and moans. 'Zoë was okay with it.' I mumble, not loud enough for Finn to hear. He has a bowl of something in his hands.

'Fuck, that hurt!' He yells, clamping a hand over his mouth, realising everyone is asleep apart from us. I giggle and his usual grin returns to his face. 'Er, okay. I guess I'm fine with you dating my ex-best friend.' Finn shrugs and I sigh, putting my head in my hands.

'Don't . . . don't hate him, Finn. Joe does want you to be friends again, and he thinks it's all his fault!' It's the words again, that accent. 'Just . . . please give him another shot. If you can make up with me, you can make up with Joe.'

'No offence, lil sis, but I don't want to be mates with him. I mean, he snogged my sister, for fuck's sake!' Finn says, fairly calmly despite the harsh words pouring out of his mouth.

'Fuck that, Finn! There's gonna be a whole lot more of that if we're going out. I mean, I'm happy for you two and you both have girlfriends, I'm not all weird about it.'
'Well - I, maybe.' Finn manages to say. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I feel like the whole world is turning again. I mean this was my brothers' problem, as well as mine and Joe's. Not talking to my brothers would only be worse than talking to them. The awkwardness would subside quicker the sooner we talked, because one day, there'd be so much mist that nothing would be able to clear it. Not even the biggest storm could blow it away but only make it worse.

'And just so we're clear, we are speaking, but it might take some time to get better.' I nod at Finn's words, suddenly lost in thought.

'What about Jack?' I asks nervously. Finn frowns, looking me straight in the eye.

'He'll come around, he always does.' There's an awkward silence, then I chirp up,

'You know, you and Jack were acting like bloody dickheads, right?' He chuckles.

'Look who's talking!' He scoffs. I laugh, getting up and shoving him. He shoves me back. I take a seat on the kitchen counter and suddenly take a serious tone.

'Also, I think that there's something else we need to talk about, if we're having a bit of an honesty session here.' Finn looks up at me, his face full of worry. 'So, you know how I don't have much appetite?' He nods, and I look away from him in order to contain myself. My throat tightens, and I lift up my top to show him the structure of my stomach. Finn's eyes fill with sorrow and he hugs me tight. I bury my face into his chest as he rocks me back and forth. 'Who knows?' His voice cracks, clearly worried. 'Erm, only you and, well, Joe, but that was an accident.'

'Of course.' Finn mutters. I daren't say anything, as I've finally made up with half of my brothers and I'm not losing him again. 'You need to -' I cut him off.

'I know, I need to get help because otherwise my organs will shut down and I will die.' I drone on. I've heard it before, but it doesn't make it any easier.
'Well, it's the truth.' Finn says. There's a pause. It's me who breaks the silence.

'Why are you still up?' I'm treading on dangerous territory. I can sense it.

'Well, I was thinking about you. You know and how I could apologise for being the biggest dickhead ever!' I laugh slightly. That's so sweet of my brother, to be awake thinking of how to apologise to me and well just generally staying up for so long - 'And there's something else,' he hesitates, and takes his hand in mine, looking at me seriously, 'mum's not very well. This may be a bit of a shock, Stel. She's got leukaemia.'