[1] Babysitting Lux

15 - Zux & Its Consequences

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15 - Zux & Its Consequences

I gulped and tried to not seem like I was freaking out. I needed Louise to see she could talk to me, trust me without me acting like a little kid, even though I actually was one. I did not want her to believe everything I knew Zayn must be saying about me or to believe she had made a mistake when hiring me. I needed her to believe she could trust me, because she really could.

“The thing is…this girl, this fan, decided to use my baby in a story. I am almost always agreeing on stuff like that. It was not the first story about Lux, and I cannot really stop them. They can write whatever they want, nobody can stop them. She appears a lot with the boys, so she has become famous or whatsoever.” She made a pause and grabbed a bottle with water that was next to her. “You know that, don’t you?” I nodded, I knew many girls died of feelings overload when they saw the boys with Lux because they fantasized about them being like that with their future kids and stuff. I was not so obsessive, but I did like to see them with her, they acted adorable around her.

“But she gets along the most with Zayn and Harry. Harry when she was younger used to babysit her a lot, he still does back in the UK, now Zayn is the one who she gets along the most with on tour, he is always carrying her around and so. So, this girl…she wrote…she thought it was…” Louise sighed and a tear escaped her eyes and ran down her cheek. She sighed again, trying to keep it together but I just felt my eyes watering as well.  “I am sorry,” she chuckled bitterly. She wiped the tear off and smiled. I smiled back, reassuringly, even though it probably came out as a grimace. I knew that it was what she needed now. I did not say anything, for fear to say the wrong thing. I had no idea of what to say anyway. I had heard about the Zux fan fiction, but I never read it. I did not want to support it by reading about it. I refused to.

“This girl wrote a story, a so called fan fiction. Apparently there are tons of fan fictions that are very sexual and it is quite ironic because it is thirteen year olds that write them. Well, the thing is in this particular story, the boys, Zayn and Harry, are a couple and they are so …horny…that they had sex with…no raped, Lux,”  she narrated, and I could see the disgust in her face and I just felt like throwing up the longer I listened to her.

She turned to face the ground. And let’s just say I did not care how my face looked now. I was horrified, and beyond disgusted. I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin, to say the least. I turned to see Lux. She was playing with her mom’s shirt and I shuddered in disgust just to think about it.

How could someone think a story like that of a sweet baby like her?! And of the boys?! It was disgusting and really inappropriate to come from a thirteen or however old this girl was. I immediately felt sorry not only for Louise and Lux, but for the boys. I knew about all of the sexual stories they wrote about them. I had read some of them myself. But after what I had heard just now, I was never going to do so again. It was wrong, I could see it now. It was against their dignity as human beings. And for someone to do that with a poor one year old baby, I had no words for them.

“Then…after having sex repeatedly with her…Lux explodes. Because of those things the fans say about the boys exploding their ovaries and all those creepy things. Then the rest of the story is about how the boys try to get rid of her remains,” Louise concluded, tears rolling down her face as she shivered in rage.

She let her back rest on the couch, as if she was exhausted by what she had just narrated, and I believed she was. Tears were rolling more often and I felt horrible for letting her remember the story just to tell me. This was my fault, I should have stopped her, if only I could move.

I blinked a couple of times, blinking the tears away and trying to get my vision to be clear once again. I ran a shaky hand through my hair and then spoke up for the first time since the horrific story had begun begin told. “I am sorry. I should have not let you tell me about it,” was the first thing I could blurt out.

“This is not your fault, Kaylie.”

“It is. I should have said I did not want to know, or stop you when things started to get out of control. Please, do not cry,” I pleaded, feeling a lump form inside my throat. I felt awful; I had no idea of how to console a mother whose baby daughter has been used in a perverted fan fiction. No one teaches you that. And it is in no manual.

I got a bit closer to her and tried to say something, but nothing came out. So I just did what I thought was best and hugged her tightly. “Oh Kaylie!” she shrieked and started to cry more. I had no idea of what else to do, so I just stayed there holding her hand as Lux moved next to her, on the other side of the couch.

She knew something was wrong, but she stayed quiet, just next to her mom, supporting her. She was such a smart baby, like for real. She always knew what to do, she was better than me at these things! And as I sat there, next to her crying mother and saw how she rested her head against her mother’s hip in a comforting way, I realized I truly loved her and that I truly loved her mother. They had become a family to me. 

You know, the other day I finally read the so called fan fiction, not directly, not the original, but I did. I was so disgusted. I regretted reading it. I truly felt uncomfortable on my own skin and it is quite alarming that such young girls write things like that. I just wish people could understand the results of their actions.