♪Life Saver♪ {Shawn Mendes}

Chapter 39

(Emily pov)

I woke up and Shawn was still watching Harry Potter.

"Shawn did you go to bed last night?" He shook his head no and turned his attention back to the TV.

I turned the TV off just to see his reaction.

"NO! Stop! What are you doing!" He yelled waking Taylor up. "Turn it back on now!" He whined

"Why is he whining?" Taylor asked confused

"I turned the TV off while he was watching Harry Potter."

"Your still watching that?" Taylor asked and Shawn ignored the question.

"Please turn it back on"

Shawn begged and Taylor put Shawn begging on vine with the caption

'@EmDallas turned the Tv off while @shawnmendes was watching Harry Potter.'

"Please Emily. I love you." He said and came closer to me. He began to kiss down my neck and he eventually got the remote out of my hands.

He sure knows how to distract a girl.

He turned the TV back on and turned his head to glare at me.

"You made me miss the best part."

"Oh well. Now get ready." I said and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Love you too babe." I said and climbed out of bed.

I picked out a black magcon sweatshirt and a pair of grey baggy sweatpants from pink.

"Its gonna be like 85 degrees. Why are you going to wear a sweatshirt?" Taylor asks

Because if any of you guys see the cuts you'll tell cam and he'll kill me.

"I thought it was gonna be cold today."

I lied. It's the end of summer, why would it be cold.

I put the sweatpants down and pulled out a pair of black shorts and a white long sleeve crop top that said 'perfect'

I walked into the bathroom and played my music. I took off my clothes and looked down at my wrist.

"I screwed up." I thought to myself

I was suppost to be getting better but instead I broke my promise and I'm lying to the people I love the most.

I got in the shower and my mind kept replaying all those things those girls said about me. I ran my fingers through my hair and let the tears fall from my eyes.

I want to get better.

I really do.

I thought I can handle all the hate but it turns out I cant.

I ruin everything.

I'm useless, unwanted, unloved and nobody cares about me.

I hate myself and I'm starting to see why everybody hates me.

I don't see the reason for trying when I just get brought back down again.

Being born was the first mistake my parents have ever made. I wouldn't blame my parents for leaving me, I would leave me too. Who wants a ugly, useless daughter who ruins everything.

There was a knock on the door pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah"

"Are you alright? You've been in there for almost an hour." Taylor asked

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said turning off the water and stepping out the shower.

I dried my hair and put it in a high pony tail. I dried off and put on my clothes. I decide to put on some makeup but something stopped me. Instead of reaching for my makeup I reached for the blade at the bottom of my makeup bag.

Go ahead and cut. See if anybody cares. Your useless and unloved. If you died right now lets see if anyone would care.

Shawn your boyfriend how many girls has he kiss when you were together. How many times has he almost hooked up with some other girl that wasn't you.

Cameron doesn't care. When he has his friends around your a nobody to him.

Taylor your 'best friend' doesn't even like you. He really can't stand you.

Matt has a girlfriend and doesn't want to be bothered with you. He has a life and millions of people out there who loves him, but you you have billions of people out there who hate you, who wants you dead. All because your a worthless piece of shit. You dont deserve to live.

Tears were falling down my face like Niagara Falls.

I took the blade and cut my wrist on repeat.

I don't deserve to live. I washed the blood off the razor and the counter. I washed the blood off my wrist and put on some makeup. I put the blade back in my makeup bag and left the bathroom.

"Hey Em you alright?" Shawn asked

"Yeah I'm fine." I said jumping into the bed with him.

"You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine." I snapped at Shawn

He gave me the 'I know your lying' look and the 'I'm going to find out what you hiding' look.

I just wanted to tell Shawn everything but I can't. I want Shawn to hold me in his arms and kiss my forehead. I want him to tell me everything would be alright. But it won't. Nothing will be okay.

After Taylor got out the Shower. Shawn took his clothes he brought over and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Hey you alright?" Taylor asked sitting on the bed Next to me.

"Why does everybody keep asking me that. How many times do I have to say I'm fine for somebody to believe me?" I asked raising my voice at the end

"Until one of us believes it. We can see right through you. It's obvious something is bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me. I'm fine."

"Then why are you getting so defensive?" Taylor asked with a smirk on his face.

We were interrupted by Shawn bursting through the bathroom door.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!

I'LL UPDATE AGAIN CAUSE I HAVE NO SCHOOL AND NO LIFE.

Follow my twitter:

@Ahrayal_Mendes

OKAY BYE!

~AHRAYAL MENDES~

STAY STRONG BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥