♪Life Saver♪ {Shawn Mendes}

Chapter 5

(Emily pov)

I walk into the room and and Nash and Cam are talking.

"I'm gonna go" Nash says and gives Cam a bro hug. On his way out he mouths the words sorry.

"Em?" Cam says calmly

"Cam don't." I say and lay down on my bed

I knew I couldn't hide this from Cam, I knew it would come out eventually and it did. But there are so many more.

"Emily please talk to me, tell me why you do this to yourself." Cameron begged

"I can't, you'll be angry at me for not telling you."

"Em I'm already upset with you for not telling me and hurting yourself. I can't stay mad at you forever, your my baby sister and I love you way too much to shut you out. Please just tell me?"

"As much as I want to I can't. I'm sorry." I say and lay down on the bed.

I can tell Cam was a little disappointed but I couldn't tell him. It would ruin his friendship with Jack and Nash and he would be angry at me for keeping this away from him for so long.

I sighed at the thought and turned my attention to my phone. I went on twitter and looked down my timeline. There were so many hate tweets against me. All telling me that I don't deserve Shawn and that I was 'Ugly' and 'Fat'. And they were right. I'm not pretty. I am slightly fat. And I don't even deserve to be in the same room as Shawn.

Other comments were like

'How are you related to Cam he's so sexy and you're so ugly.'

Well thanks, I didn't realize I was so unattractive. I seriously don't need people telling me these things. I already know.

"Are you okay?" Cam asked

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be."

"Em I know."

What does he know?

"What do you know?" I asked

"Your getting hate. Are you and Shawn a thing?" He asked

Thank god. I thought he was talking about Nash and Jack.

"We're just friends, I promise."

He pulled me in for a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and we stayed like this for a while. I let out a single tear and I quickly wiped it away.

I wish I can tell him but I can't.

I broke the hug and Cam looked at me with the 'Are you okay' look. I nodded my head and he gave me a smile, I gave him a weak smile in return.

"I'm going to go and talk to Nash." I said and left the room

I sat down in front of our hotel room door.

Am I really going to talk to Nash and Jack? They hurt me to much and I really just want to keep my distance.

I buried my head into my knees and I began to cry.

"Em what's wrong?" I look up to see Jack.

"Nothing I'm fine." I say getting up.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Not again."

I can't.

"Jack please just leave me alone." I say with tears in my eyes.

"Em-"

"Don't call me Em." I said raising my voice slightly

"I'm sorry." He says with guilt on his face.

"You Think saying sorry will fix everything? You put me through so much shit over the years and all of a sudden your sorry. It's bullshit!" I yelled and started to unlock the hotel room.

"Emily please just listen to me." He said grabbing my wrist and turning me around.

"Fuck off! Do you not understand that I don't want to be near you?" I yell and walk into my hotel room.

I run into the bathroom before Cam could even ask whats wrong.

"Emily what's wrong?" Cameron said pounding on the door.

"EM! Open the door. Now!"

"Emily!" Cameron said still pounding on the door.

I pulled out my blade and sighed. I sliced my wrist repeatedly. I was full on crying.

Cam cant find out. He can't.

"Emily open the fucking door!" He said pounding on the door even harder.

If only he knew.

I wiped away the blood and covered my arm with my sleeve. I put my blade away and sat in the bathroom floor. I buried my head in my knees.

"Emily what are you doing? Are you okay?" Cam asked

"I'm fine." I finally said with my voice shaking

"Emily open the door."

"Cameron leave me alone."

"That's not going to happen please open the door."

I was quiet. I heard the doorknob was moving a lot. I just kept my head buried in my knees. The door flew open and a pair of arms wrapped around me.

"Shh... It's okay." Cameron said trying to calm me down