Choni one shots

56: The One When Toni Doesn't Want Kids

CHERYL POV:

"Toni." I walk into the kitchen. "Hey babe what's up?" She turns around with the goofiest smile. "I have a question." I walk closer to her. "What's up?" She lies her hand on my hip pulling me closer to her. "Do you want kids?" I ask quietly. She looks down. "We've been married for 2 years now and we still haven't talked about it." I whisper. "Because I don't want kids." She sits down at the table. "I can't bring myself to have a kid especially after what happened with my parents. I-I I'm afraid I have a kid and become my parents." She tells me. I grab a chair and sit in front of her. "You're not like your parents." I tell her. "I'm still very heavily in the serpents." She whispers. I look down. "We can't bring a kid into this and I go off on a serpent mission and something happens to me, I can't have that happen." We talk about this for about a hour and I can't do anything to change her mind. I know she's holding something back and she's really stubborn so it will take a while We're now having a fight about it, which is great! "Cheryl! You can't say or do anything that will change my mind!" She yells. "Why are you so insistent on this?" She ask quietly. "Because I really want a kid, I want to give a kid the life we never had." I play with my hands. "Cheryl I can't. Not yet." Her voice cracks holding back tears. "I'm not ready. We're still kids." She whispers. "Let's revisit this another day Cher." She goes upstairs. "Toni!" The door to our room slams shut. I giver her a few minutes before going up there. I knock on the door. "TT." I walk in to our room she's sitting at the desk going through photos on her phone of her and her parents. She wipes her tears and turns around. "Hey Cher." She whispers. "Talk to me." I sit on the bed. "Why do you really not want kids?" I ask quietly. She takes a deep breath. "Honestly?" I nod. "You're going to hate me." She looks me right in the eyes. "Just tell me." I whisper. "Before we met, I had a girlfriend and we were pretty serious. One night we decided to you know. I got her pregnant and I never got to see the kid. I didn't tell you because I had shoved that part of me down as far as I could. I can't bring myself to have another kid in fear of losing the one person I've ever loved." She tells me holding back tears. I sit there for a second. "Please say something." I look up at her. "O- what?" I look at her confused. "I have a son." She whispers. "Ok, and you're being a little bitch about having a kid why?" I ask. "Because I never got to see the kid and I feel like it's my fault!" She whispers playing with her hands. "I don't want to talk about this right now." She gets up but I stop her from walking away. "Toni we should though." I look at her. She debated for a second and sits back down. "I'm not going to leave you because I think you're bad with kids." I tell her. "I don't hate you for having a kid, it's kinda weird that you never told me, but I don't hate you." I whisper. She looks down. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She apologizes. "That's why I waited with you." She whispers. "Besides the obvious." She smiles. "Toni, I want kids if you're not ready for it and if you told me sooner, it's ok. I just wish you told me sooner about all of this." I whisper. "Come here." She pulls me into a kiss. We lie on the bed. "I want kids, I just can't do it, not right now. I'm not ready." She plays with my hair. "I'm sorry about yelling earlier." She sits up. "I just got defensive." I cup her cheeks. I pull her into a kiss one thing leads to another and we both have our clothes off. "Condom." She whispers, getting up and grabbing one. "Where were we?" She slides into me. "Oh. Fuck!" I moan loudly. She grabs my hips and she thrust faster. "God." She groans. She looks up at me. "You ok?" She whispers kissing my neck. "Yes. You?" She nods thrusting faster. "Ohh fuck." I moan as she kisses my neck. "Fuck." She quickly stops. I sit up. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "I need a minute." She throws her clothes on and runs out.

TONI POV:

I watch as the water flows. "TT." Cheryl sits next to me. "I'm sorry I had a panic attack." I whisper. "No shit." She laughs slightly. "Why do you want kids?" I ask quietly. "Because, remember when I went to the doctors the last week?" I nod. "Well they ran some test. I- I can't have children." She whispers. "Than why did you ask me if I wanted kids?" I ask quietly. "Because I was hoping you would say yes and we could adopt." I look down. "Cheryl I want kids, we're just so young. My mom was 17 when she had me, I don't want to make the same mistakes she did." I tell her. "We're older, we're not going to do that." I shake my head. "You don't understand Cher. Can we just come back to this in a few years?"

"How did you manage to drag me here?" I ask as we pull up to a foster home. "Because I want a kid. I think we're ready you're just not letting go of this fear you don't need to have." I look down and take a breath. "Fine but we need to seriously talk about this when we get home."

I look up at Cheryl. "She's perfect." I whisper. "Told you!" I look down and the small sleeping baby in my arms. "I think she's the one." I nod in agreement of Cheryl. "Yeah." I smile looking up at her. She sits next to me on the bench. "We should keep her." I whisper. "Yeah, does she have a name?" She ask the woman in charge of all of this. "Yes, her name is Vanessa." I look at Cheryl. "Wow that's funny because that was going to be my name." I smile. (See what I did there) Cheryl looks at her. "How can we adopt her?" She ask quietly. "Come right this way." We get up and go into a office. We sign a lot of paper work.

I rub Vanessa's back as she sleeps peacefully on my chest. "I can't believe we just did this." I whisper. "Well I can't believe you agreed to this." Cheryl sits up. "You've been talking to the agency for months haven't you?" She nods. "I just needed to sign those paper and get you on bored." I pull her into a kiss. "You're evil." I joke. "You're a bitch." She kisses my cheek. "I love you."