Choni one shots

119: The One With The Broken Hand

TONI POV:

"Toni." My dad looks down at me. I look at him from the cold bathroom floor. "I could have save her." I take another sip of the vodka. He sits on the toilet. "There was nothing you could do." He whispers. "I was the last person to talk to mom. I should have known something was wrong. I thought she was just having a bad day, but she was just about to kill herself." I start crying. "She killed herself because I didn't see the warning signs." I whisper. "How were you supposed to know?" He ask. "Mom was hurting a lot. I never told you because I didn't want to worry you." I sit up. "You knew?!" I ask starting to get pissed. "You knew mom was depressed and you did nothing!" I yell. "I hate you!" I get up and go to Cheryl's. Luckily she's not that far from me so it only takes like 10 minutes to walk there. I knock on the door. "Toni." She whispers. She pulls me into a hug. "Come on." We sit at the kitchen table. "He didn't tell me." I whisper standing up. "I fucking hate him!" I yell. It's not Cheryl's fault. I shouldn't be yelling at her. "If it wasn't for him maybe she wouldn't be dead!" I punch the wall. It's stone. It fucking hurts. I lie my head on the wall and start crying. I hear Cheryl get up and gets me some ice. She takes my arm gently and places the ice on my hand. "You're ok." She whispers pulling me into a hug. I cry into her. We slowly go upstairs. She sits down on the bed. I lie my head on her lap and cry.

Cheryl and I have been sitting in her bed for hours now. My head in her lap as I cry and she strokes my hair. She put some FRIENDS on in hopes to make my life a little better. It's not really working. It just reminds me my life is horrible. She wipes my tears and the snot running down my face. I roll over so I'm staring up at her. "Do you think she's found peace?" I ask quietly as I stare at the ceiling. Cheryl looks up. "Hopefully." She looks back at me. "Why didn't he tell me?" I shake my head. "To protect you." She moves hair out of my face. "I wish I could talk her out of it." I whisper. "I know." She kisses my hand. "You did get to say goodbye though." I look at her. "Cheryl..." I sit up. "I forgot." I whisper. "No! I'm just saying. I did get to say goodbye to him." I nod and lie my head on her lap. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "You didn't do anything wrong." She whispers. Maybe she's right. "Hopefully she's with Papa and Grandma, eating Peanut butter sandwiches on the beach." I whisper. Cheryl nods. "Yeah." She smiles sadly. She knows I'm trying to rationalize everything. "She's looking down on you, making sure you're safe." She tells me. I nod. "She's not in pain anymore." She whispers. I nod lying into her. "Hopefully." I look up at the ceiling. "How's you're hand feeling?" When punched the wall earlier I might have broken it. I pick up the ice. "I think it might be broken." I whisper. "Do you want to go to the hospital?" She ask quietly. "Yeah." We both get up and she drives me to the hospital. "How may I help you?" The woman at the front desk ask smiling. "I might have broken my hand." I whisper. "Ok. Can you tell me what happened?" She ask quietly. "I punched a wall." I say almost embarrassed. She looks at me weirdly. "Ok!" She gets up. "You can come with me and we'll do some X-rays." She smiles.

"How's you're hand now?" Cheryl ask quietly. It's been a few days. We're at SweetWater having a little picnic. I'm lying in her lap because that is our thing. "Better." I whisper. I look up at her. "How are you?" It's been a few months since my mom died. I haven't been able to process it. "Better. I still haven't been able to think straight." I sit up and hug my knees, refusing to face her. She rubs my back. "I just wonder if there was a way to know." I whisper. "There wasn't much you could do." I look back at her. "I could have saved her! I could have known!" I tell her determined. She rubs my left cheek. "Toni. It's too late! I'm sorry but, y-you can't bring her back. It's ok though!" I look down. "I just wish I could say goodbye." I hold back tears. "It's ok. I get it." She tells me. "I get it. I never got to say goodbye to Jason." I look up at her. "I thought you did?" She shakes her head. "Not properly." I whisper. "We faked his death and he was supposed to call me, but my dad killed him." I hug her. She starts crying. We both do. After a bit we pull away. "Cher." She shakes her head. "I don't want to talk about it." I nod. "Ok." I wipe her tears with my thumb. "I love you." She whispers. I smile. "I love you too." I whisper. I pull her into a kiss. "I'm not going to stop loving you." I whisper after pulling away. She smiles. I know she's not really the best a sharing her feelings and being affectionate, so the fact she said what she said first is really a big step in the right direction. She looks down. "It's ok." I whisper lying in her lap again. I wipe the tears left on her cheeks before they drop into my face because if I'm not paying attention I'm gonna think it's raining even though it's sunny. She nods. "I agree though." I smile at her comment.